Chiana isolated herself in the back of D'Argo's ship. Behind the crates of food cubes and Rygel's luggage, Chiana wallowed in the all-consuming darkness, not knowing, not caring where the ship was going.

After cycles of being part of a unit, a family, her world was fracturing. She claimed to have a direction, a quest, but in truth she was just leaving because she couldn't bear to be the last one left behind.

Moya and Pilot once confided to the crew that their presence was a comfort, not a burden. She didn't want to think about how they were abandoning their home.

Suddenly in the darkness she felt her world shift, a great shudder running through her body and then a flash of a barely tangible thought...

"John."

***

"Chiana we are *not* going back. We're already two arns away and I refuse to spend two more arns going back to the now empty space Moya was occupying just to satisfy a *feeling*. Not to mention the additional two arns it would take to return back here! That's four arns wasted!"

The Nebari practically shook with anger, "I can do simple arithmetic D'Argo!"

She took a deep breath, and knelt besides the lumbering warrior, placing her hands on his thigh, peering up at him childlike, head tilted, and eyes pleading.

"Please D'Argo. Please. You know it's not just a feeling. My visions haven't been wrong once, and there is something wrong with John. He's in danger and he's all alone and we can't just leave him there!"

D'Argo's expression softened and he placed a comforting hand on top of hers, his thumb gently stroking her gloved hand.

"I would be more inclined to head back if you could just give me some details Chiana. All you've told me is John is in danger and is alone. I don't want to head back blind. Is it Peacekeepers or Scarrens? Where's Moya? Why is John alone? Chiana..."

With a quicksilver change of emotion she jerked her hands away from his and stood up. "No! I don't want to hear it! He's your friend and if you don't want to help him, FINE! I will!"

Rygel spoke up, bored with the squabbling. "You have no ship. Or haven't you noticed that? The three of us are stuck together until we reach the next Commerce planet, so let's vote. Those in favor of following Chiana's farhbot hunch, and those not."

***

"Do you have any twos?"

"Go Fish."

Harvey and John have been playing this game for three arns. Somehow the stupid game keeps both their minds off of their impending deaths.

Three more arns of oxygen.

Neither one says it, but both are painfully aware of the countdown.

John always thought that his dying moments would be spent recalling treasured memories of picnics, family gatherings, and Sundays in the park with the grandkids... not spent playing Go Fish with a figment of his imagination who refused to go away.

"Do you have any eights?"

Harvey reluctantly hands over the eight of spades to a maniacally grinning John.

The waiting is maddening. John is almost tempted to just open the hatch, embrace the black coldness of space, and let his death be relatively quick, but something inside him always stops him whenever his hand wanders too close to that seductive red button. Probably just the urge to beat Harvey at Go Fish if nothing else. Well that and the distinctly human emotion - hope.

John really should have given up hope long ago. His one true love said good bye forever. He'll never see his real family again. His adopted family are dispersing themselves far away from him. And the only person... thing, left to keep him company is the neural impression of his most reviled enemy, Scorpius.

Looking back on it, his life has pretty much sucked recently.

John sighed and looked down at his deck of cards, "Do you have any tens?"

"Ha! Go Fish!"

Damn, he's not even beating Harvey anymore.

***

Aeryn Sun is floating in space with no propulsion. After all what's the point? She doesn't even know for sure where she is going; she just had to get away.

Away.

It was impossible with this thing growing inside of her, stealing her nourishment and complicating her life. Really it is a parasite.

John Crichton's child. Not *that* John, the other John... *her* John.

She has no training in this, no rulebook to use as a guideline, no one to confide in. If Zhaan was still alive she could have possibly spoken to her... but Zhaan is dead, died for her.

What a waste of a good life.

Aeryn's life is full of "ifs." If John didn't get radiation poisoning, if John hadn't saved her life and met Scorpius, if John hadn't kissed Gilina and made her jealous, if John hadn't irreversibly contaminated her... it always came back to John.

If John hadn't...

If Aeryn hadn't loved John.

There was that so hard? If she hadn't allowed herself to love him then none of this would have happened. She wouldn't have lost her identity only to discover a new one, she wouldn't have found a family in Moya's crew, she wouldn't have recreated with John and planted this infant in her womb.

//I cannot have this child. I will not have this child.//

Aeryn placed her hand gently over her smooth stomach imagining the face of the creature that lay within her.

It only took her a microt to come to the conclusion that although she could not, *would* not have this child, she would not take it away from Crichton. She would go back to Moya, they could find a Diagnosan and John could take the fetus, and she could leave. All ties would be severed, she would be free to join her PK defectors unit, and John wouldn't have to be alone anymore.

Everyone could be as happy as circumstances allow.

With a deep breath Aeryn turned her prowler around, turned the engine on, and began accelerating back towards Moya's last quartinents.

***

It was dark... bleak, and John was getting both dizzy and nauseous.

//Must be the first stages of carbon monoxide poisoning I suppose it's not the worst way to die.//

He closed his eyes and for once just listened to the silence. Not even Harvey dared interrupt this moment of solitude.

John must have lost consciousness because he awoke to the soft croon of Chiana's voice and the gentle touch of her hand on his forehead.

"C'mon old man. Wake up... wake up Crichton. Please don't die don't..."

D'Argo interrupted her, "He's not going to die Chiana. He has a pulse. Just leave him alone and stop fawning over him."

John heard the whirl of Rygel's Thronesled and was shocked to hear the Dominar's quiet words, "Leave her alone D'Argo. She's worried, we all are."

"Sparky, I didn't know you cared..." John opened his eyes so he could take in the sight of Rygel's surprised face.

"I meant worried in the sense that we didn't want you to throw up inside our ship. Don't think I really cared what happens to your carcass Crichton."

John just smiled and sat up slowly rubbing his head. "Man you guys have good timing."

He barely caught Chiana as she threw herself into his arms to hug him tightly. The words weren't needed between them, but he said them anyway. "I'm alright Pip. Everything is okay, you came in time. Thank you."

Just as quickly as she hugged him she pulled back and lightly slapped him on the side of the head feigning annoyance, "Stupid frelnik. What possessed you to leave Moya with no fuel? And where is Moya anyway?"

"Wormhole... sucked her away. I don't really know what happened, I haven't had time to process it yet."

There was silence for a moment and then Chiana's playful grin melted away to grief. "That's what my vision was! A wormhole! Frell! What good is seeing the future if... FRELL!"

John put a restraining hand on her arm, soothing her. "You didn't know Pip. You couldn't have known. It's not your fault."

Rygel sighed dramatically. Everyone turned towards him, a quizzical look upon their faces. "Well you do know what this means don't you? We have to go find Moya."

There was a moment of silence, then Chiana laughed, "We're going home!"

***

Aeryn arrived at the place where she last left Moya only to see a sea of black stars. There was nothing there.

She was alone... with a parasite in her belly that she didn't want.

Frell.