The Traveller's Song (pt. 6)

Meara locked herself in the captains quarters, leaving instructions that she did not wish to be disturbed. She stayed there for a few arns, leaving the rest of them to their own devices. By the time the evening meal rolled around, everyone was getting on everyone's nerves. By the third time Broc insinuated that Meara's behavior was due to something Talyn had done, he snapped back at him, "Leave it alone, Broc."

"You want to start something, medtech?"

"I swear, Broc, sometimes you act just like a jealous sibling. You are just hoping I'm in trouble with Mom, aren't you?"

Broc found this retort confusing. "Well, if I had a brother, I would be ashamed to have one like you. You are nothing-"

"Stop it," Meara said, having come to the table. "Someone please pass me some herdbeast, would you?"

Meara acted perfectly normally for the rest of the evening. Risa found a time to talk to Meara alone.

"I did it, you know," Risa said. "It wasn't that bad."

"Did what?"

"Maternity duty. It's not that bad. Some of the women really like it. It's like having a lot of off-duty days, and they feed you really well."

"You did? Aren't you younger than me?"

"Yes, but I guess my number came up earlier. It doesn't have anything to do with your military record, just when they decide is the right time. Everyone of childbearing age gets called sooner or later, unless you're disqualified for some reason."

"How do they do it? It doesn't have anything to do with sex, does it?" Meara asked curiously.

"Oh, no. They do a lot of tests, although I don't know why, since they take gene samples at birth, and then they make you pregnant. They have a lot of restrictions about what you can do and can't do, and a few monens later you go through the birth, and then there's a whole new person." Risa sounded like she still found that part a little unbelievable. "They sort of present the baby to you, and you name it, and then it goes into the creche."

"Do you know who the father is?"

"Um..he was a tech. They told me his name, but I can't remember it." Risa shrugged. "My progeny-I named him Biksa."

Later that same solar day, Meara came out of the shower to find Talyn stretched out on her bed, shirt and boots off. His hands were crossed under his head and he was staring intently at the ceiling. Meara crossed the room and straddled him, leaning over and brushing his nose with hers. She started kissing him-short, light but possessive kisses, her lips unwilling to drag hemselves away from his.

Talyn sat up abruptly, sliding his hands along her arms and pushing them down, which had the effect of of getting her hands out of his hair and the two of them facing each other.

"You always do this," he observed.

"Do what?" she asked, her face a study in bewilderment.

"You always want to make love when you want comfort," he said gently.

"You could have just said you didn't want to," she said, her face so downfallen that he wished he hadn't said anything at all.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm not complaining, just saying that I know you're upset."

Meara bit her lower lip to keep the tears out of her eyes. "I always listen when you want to talk," she said, having rallied a bit.

"Yes, you do." Talyn smiled with relief. "I, um, want to talk.'

"Oh," she said, realization dawning. She grabbed his hands and cocked her head to one side, making such a perfect picture of attentiveness that he almost laughed.

"I need to know how you feel about being assigned to procreate," Talyn said evenly.

"I'm sorry I broke your spectral magnetometer," she said, a little embarrassed.

"Actually, it was a sphigmo-well, that's not important. I guess I do know how you feel. I want to know why you feel that way."

Meara rolled her eyes to the ceiling and sighed. She looked down at their joined hands and said, "I don't like not having a choice about it. It's got to slow down my chance for advancement."

"Yes."

She looked up at Talyn. He appeared to be waiting for more.

"We might get separated. I don't know where I'll be and I don't know where I'll be assigned after this."

"But we will do our best to stay together, right?" he said reassuringly.

She nodded. Talyn remained silent. She struggled with herself for a moment, an array of emotions chasing themselves across her face.

"I am not going to have someone else's baby," she said defiantly.

"You won't have to," Talyn said, very seriously. "We can try to make sure that you set sail with a full hold."

Meara was looking at him, trying to understand.

"It's actually fairly simple. We take your implant out, sabotage it, and put it back in, and wait for nature to take its course."

"Wouldn't they know?"

"No. Your contraceptive implant is on the underneath side of your left arm, where you sustained those injuries. If we break the implant, they'll assume it was the heat. I know it's working, I checked it when you were recovering, but they won't know that."

Meara was finding the idea intriguing, but frightening. "Would they let me continue the pregnancy?"

"Reproductive technology is not my specialty, but I do know that our birth rate is low. My family aside, Sebaceans are not a fertile lot, probably because we live long enough to make up for it. Since the Peacekeepers treat life like it was cheap to come by, they are constantly replenishing their troops by recruiting in the colonies. From what I've heard, they are usually lenient about accidents."

"But if they knew it wasn't an accident-"

"That would be another story."

"How do we know we're compatible? They do all that genetic testing. There was that child of the Travellers.."

"The mentally deficient girl? The Travellers don't do genetic screening at birth. We are both healthy people, I don't think there's much likelihood of that." His voice got softer and he looked deeply into her eyes. "Can you imagine a what a child of ours would be like? Someone with your passion and courage?"

"Someone with your tenderness and compassion?"

"Your beautiful brown eyes..your cute little nose.."

"Your smile...that little cleft in your chin.. a boy, maybe."

"So. would you mind mixing that long and honorable warrior line with a mongrel like me? That noble house you come from with an unknown line from the colonies?"

Meara looked at him with tears and love in her eyes. "If we had a baby together, something of us would last long after they've torn us apart."

The marauder was silent except for the two people who were being very quiet in the tiny little infirmary. Their hushed voices lent a solemnity to the occasion. Meara was sitting on the table that took up the whole room, swinging her bare feet. She was wearing the shirt of Talyn's she had been wearing and a pair of pants she had hastily thrown on. She held still while Talyn made a small incision and removed a small flat disk from her arm. He hesitated, holding the device between his fingers. They both stared at it.

"Are you sure you want to do this? This could be considered an act of insurrection." He looked at her with troubled eyes.

"Do it," Meara said very firmly.She held a compress on her arm while Talyn took the contraceptive device and applied a small torch to it. It bubbled and cracked nicely. He ran a small scanner over it and announced that it seemed to be inert. After wiping it off, he put it back under Meara's skin and stitched it closed.

"That incision should heal before we get back. You might experience some mood swings and strange symptoms because your hormones are going to be different." Talyn was being very much the medtech.

"Do you think it might change how much I want sex?"

Talyn said something under his breath. "I hope not. I'd be a dead man."

"Don't we need to do something else? Is that it?"

"Just what we have been doing." He smiled, still humbled by the enormity of what they had done.

"But that isn't the way they do it in the maternity wards. Risa told me," she said, looking doubtful.

Talyn placed his hands on either side of her and leaned forward. "It works, Meara. Back home we put the herdbeasts and milkbeasts out in the field and they made lots of little beasts. Let's leave it up to fate, shall we? Besides, why would we want to waste all the practicing we've been doing?"

Meara giggled. "When do we get to start?"

"Your body will probably need time to adjust..but.. anytime you want."

"How about now?" she said, wrapping her legs around him and pulling him to her.

The next few weekens passed. Meara was having a lot of fun teaching Risa to fly. She was a joy to teach, being both quick and diligent. Meara was in a good mood most of the time. She wasn't sure if it was that her mind was put at ease by the act of rebellion that she and Talyn had taken, or if it was just a hormonal change, but she managed not to think about her next assignment. She hadn't watched any of Broc's training of Talyn, having figured out that Broc behaved worse when she was around. She knew from the fact that they were both unhappy that it must be going all right. When she asked Talyn he just told her acerbically that Broc had taught him three ways to break someone's neck , so she gave up on asking. Marik seemed content to hang around the infirmary. She had no idea why, and was in fact surprised that he was the only one who had not complained in one way or the other.

Finally curiosity got the better of her and she walked into the middle of a training session. It didn't take long for her to be pleasantly surprised at how Talyn was doing. He must not have had as little training in the past as he claimed, or else he was a quick study. Broc was stronger and tougher, but Talyn was quicker and, as became apparent very quickly, a whole lot smarter. Meara watched Broc get increasingly frustrated as he failed to even come close to hitting Talyn. She was careful to keep a neutral expression on her face even though it made her feel a little smug. Finally Broc had Talyn in a chokehold, both arms around his throat from behind. He smirked a little as he tightened the hold. Meara saw Talyn tilt his head to the side a bit, and suddenly Broc was down and Talyn was somersaulting backwards over him. Before Broc could react, Talyn had him flipped and pinned. Broc slapped the mat.

Meara was thrilled. She felt like jumping up and down and cheering, and not just because it was easing her worries about Talyn's ability to protect himself. She was proud of him. She did none of those things and kept a Peacekeeper neutral face.

Talyn, looking tired and a little exasperated, offered Broc a hand up. Broc took the offered hand, and almost too quickly for Meara to see, he had pulled Talyn by the arm and with a twist and a kick, had forced him down. Meara heard a sickening pop as his arm bent in an unnatural direction. She charged Broc, pinning him against the wall and pointing her small sidearm against the back of his head.

Talyn was sitting on the mat, holding his right hand in his left and palpitating it gently. "Don't, Meara," he said calmly. Meara looked over at him, still pinning down the unresisting Broc. "Why the frell not?"

"Because you'd feel badly about it tomorrow," he said, getting to his feet. "Come on, baby. Help me to the infirmary."

Meara shook Broc by the back of his collar. "If you ever," she said in very round tones, "do anything like that to any member of this crew again, I will shoot you where you stand."

Without a backwards glance she left with Talyn. When they got to the infirmary, Marik was there, looking at a holographic projector that he shut down immediately when he saw them. Meara shooed him out of the room. Talyn showed her how to scan his arm and she followed his instructions carefully. Her anger had disappeared and she was doing her best to be calm and supportive, although she realized that he was definitely calmer and was leading her through everything she had to do.

Talyn watched the holo-image as she scanned the length of his arm. "Do you see that? The shoulder's not broken, its dislocated. The hand isn't broken, either. I thought from the way it felt that it was, but it's just the middle finger. See the line there? That's a spiral fracture. You can only get those from a twisting injury." He spoke as dispassionately as if it were someone else's arm.

"Okay, Meara you're going to have to put the shoulder back in. When I tell you to, you'll have to pull, really hard. It's going to hurt like Hezmana, but don't try to spare me, ok?" She agreed and he led her through the procedure which, with a grinding sound and a sickening pop, worked. Meara was almost as green as Talyn was when they were finished. The finger was taken care of by applying a round tube around it and the adjacent finger. The tube squeezed itself around the two fingers and hardened.

"The interesting thing about the automatic cast is that it falls off when its time for the bone to be healed. Isn't that convenient?" he said as if he expected her to agree.

"I thought surgical reconstruction was supposed to take care of broken bones," Meara said shakily.

"Well, we can't do that here. It's okay. We'll just wait for it to heal on its own," he said cheerfully.

"I am so sorry," she said with tears in her eyes. "This is all my fault. I know you didn't want to do this."

He touched her chin with the thumb and forefinger of his good hand and looked straight into her eyes. "Don't be. You were right. It won't happen again."

She bowed her head. Talyn stroked her cheek gently, pushing little wisps of hair back from her face. "I can't believe Broc did that," Meara said softly.

"How long have you known him?"

"About three cycles. He usually isn't petty like that."

"That long?" Talyn was aching from the his finger tips to his shoulder. It was obvious to him that the situation with Broc was out of control, and it was time to talk it out. "Have you ever recreated with him?"

"Of course not," Meara said with a shrug. "I told you that when we first met."

"But there was someone.... right after we got together, wasn't there?" he asked calmly.

Mear'as head jerked up as if he had pulled her up by her hair. She searched his face fearfully. "It was no one. It was a mistake." She paused for a microt as she remembered why he had asked this question. "It wasn't Broc. I swear."

"I'm sorry I even brought it up," he said wearily. "I just think Broc is jealous."

Meara struggled to think. She was upset that Talyn knew about her brief encounter but after a microt it occurred to her that if he had found it unforgivable he wouldn't be here now. He didn't even seem to be accusing her of being with Broc now, just that Broc might seem to feel some claim on her. "Broc isn't capable of feeling the way that you do," she started carefully, "You mean the way I love you."

"Yes," she said, glad that he still felt that way. "He's too much of a Peacekeeper."

"Are you sure?" he said doggedly.

"I will talk to him," Meara said. "And you are going to take a pain pill and lie down."

"Yes, sir," he said, suiting action to words. "And Meara?" he said as she was walking out the door, "just don't shoot him."

Meara chose to talk to Broc in his room. She had given him the room that used to be hers, and it was one of the few places on the ship that they could have some privacy. She would have preferred to talk to him on her ground, but she didn't know if Talyn was going to be there or in the infirmary.

Broc was looking sheepish and being compliant. Meara was surprised to find that she no longer wanted to kill him.

Broc asked how Talyn was so Meara gave a brief description. "How could you do that, Broc? Those hands put me back together after the accident. This is the man who would put you back together if something happened to you."

"Yeah, well, maybe he should have stayed a medtech, then," Broc said with a weak attempt at bravado.

"You did that because you lost. I thought you were better than that."

"I thought you were, too. When did you change your policy, Meara?"

"My policy?" Meara actually went blank for a microt, then she smiled. "Oh, that. We were involved long before we were crewmates."

Broc just gaped at her.

"I don't know if you can understand this, Broc, but my recreating days are over. Talyn is my mate. There will be no one else for me as long as we live," she said with quiet conviction.

"You're Farbotz!" he burst out. "It will drag you down. There's no way you can stay with him forever."

"I know," she said, "but I intend to try. And I know you're disappointed in me." She looked a little pained at the thought. "But you can't take it out on him or disrupt this crew. You can do whatever you want to about this when we get back, but for now I am still in charge and we still have to work together."

Broc rubbed his forehead with his fingers. "I thought we had a deal. I thought you would guard my back and I guard yours. That's how its always been."

"I'm not reneging . I won't let you down, I give you my oath." Meara got up to leave.

"You are going to get hurt," Broc said quietly.

Meara turned around and looked at the sincere concern on his face. She gave him a resigned nod, and left the room.

Meara found Talyn sleeping on her bed a few arns later. She had brought with her a drink and something for him to eat. He woke up when she came in and looked at her groggily.

"I knew I shouldn't have taken a pain pill. They always put me out."

"That's okay. Look, Risa made a meat pie. She said you really liked these," she said, coming over to the bed and sitting beside him. She attempted to feed him a bite, but he protested. "I'm fine, Meara, really. It's just a broken finger."

"Don't you want me fussing over you?" she teased.

"You want to?"

"You sound surprised," she said, allowing him to hold the pie in his good hand but picking up his foot and unbuckling his boots. "Did I tell you that I was proud of you? You did good."

"Well, I'm not sure how I feel about that," he said, his voice muffled by a mouthful of meat pie.

"You held your own against Broc, and you didn't have to kiss him to do it," she said, looking at him mischievously.

Talyn sputtered out some crumbs. "He's not as pretty as you are. Speaking of Broc, how did it go?"

Meara gave him a short but accurate synopsis of their conversation. When she finished, Talyn was staring at her. "You told him that?"

She shrugged. "Well, it's not like it's a big secret."

"No," Talyn agreed. "But some things aren't real unless you talk about them."

Meara pondered that while she continued undressing him. After he was down to his undies, she put on the shirt that she had appropriated and slipped into bed with him. She carefully tucked her arm under his and spooned around him as he lay on his side.

"I'm sorry," she said to his back. "That one time was a mistake. I didn't know.." she found herself unable to explain further.

"We hadn't made each other any promises."

"You know I only want you, don't you? It won't ever happen again," she said, burying her face in his back.

Talyn awkwardly stroked the arm that was around his chest. "I know."

A couple of solar days later Talyn passed Meara in the hallway. She was wearing a tanktop and loose pants and had leather gloves on. He grabbed her around the waist as she went by and spun her around. "Where are you going?"

"I was going to see if Broc wanted to go a few rounds," she said, her ponytail swinging.

Talyn pulled her close and spoke conspiratorially. "Have you forgotten what we're trying to do?"

She melted against him. "What, right now?"

"No, although..no, what I meant was you need to find a less violent form of exercise."

"You mean I can't fight Broc? He won't hurt me," she said uncomfortably.

"It isn't worth the risk, Meara. You shouldn't be fighting anyone unless you have to."

She looked up at his blue eyes, and she knew he was serious. "All right," she conceded. "But I don't know what to do about him. He's just been looking really lost lately."

"He apologized, you know. Well, I think it was an apology. It might have been an excuse to punch that sore arm again."

Meara shrugged and cocked her head. It sounded like Broc.

"I think I'll go help him work on the ship," Talyn said.

"You are going to work on the ship?"

"Tech is tech," Talyn said. "The mechanics aren't that different form military tech or Medtech. Besides, I'll just let him show off what he's learned."

"Oh, the sacrifices you make," she said, giving him a quick kiss before going on her way.

Later that day Talyn found Meara already in bed when he got to their room. She was wearing his tanktop and was curled up in a fetal position. He sat down on the bed beside her. "I'm never going to get that shirt back, am I? Well, that's okay, it looks better on you anyway."

There was no response. This was unusual, as Meara was quick to wake up when disturbed and just as quick to fall asleep again. Talyn finished undressing and crawled in beside her. He kissed her on the shoulder. "You sure did park your boots early tonight."

There still wasn't any response. A little worried, Talyn put his hand on her cheek and then on her neck. Her pulse was strong and her temperature felt fine. Her breathing was steady. Then he noticed through the loose opening of the top that there was a rosy flush traveling down the length of her breasts. He trailed a finger down her soft skin and noticed that it left a white mark that soon pinkened again. He shook her a little roughly and said loudly, "Broc is flying us into a star."

He was rewarded with a half-hearted slap and a mumbled, "That's nice. You take care of it, okay?"

"I want to do a test on you tomorrow, all right?" Meara mumbled an assent and went back to sleep.

Talyn awoke to find Meara peering down the front of her..his shirt. "Yotz!" she said,"Would you look at this, I'm pink. What do you think that is?"

"Um..increased blood flow?" he said sleepily.

"It means I'm pregnant, doesn't it" she said, looking at him over her shoulder with a broad smile on her face.

"It could just be those hormonal changes I told you about. We won't know for sure until we do a test."

"I am . I know it. I feel totally different." she said confidently. "Get up, let's go do it."

Talyn was staring at the little vial in his hand with a dumbfounded look. "I can't believe it," he said, shaking his head.

"Why not?" Meara asked. "It's what we were trying to do."

"It just doesn't happen right away like that...I told you, we aren't a particularly fertile species."

"Do you think it means anything?" Meara shrugged.

"No.." Talyn said, thinking briefly about Elleth's prophecy. "I think it means it's a good thing you've had an implant all this time."

"I wonder what other changes are going to happen to my body.. Risa would know," Meara said dreamily.

Talyn came over to her and took her face in his hands. "You can't ask Risa anything. You can't let out even the smallest hint that you're pregnant. When we get back, its best for them to think that you didn't even know. The more ignorant you act, the better. Especially since you're a terrible liar." He spoke very intensely.

"How do you know I'm terrible at lying?" she asked indignantly. "When have I ever lied to you that you would know of-oh... I guess maybe I haven't had a lot of practice."

"We have to be very careful, okay?" he said, as if trying to impress the words into her brain.

"I'll be very careful, I promise," she said soberly. She put her arms around him and put her head on his shoulder. "Thank you," she said simply.

"I love you, Meara," he said, tightening his arms around her. His voice sounded a little husky. "I'm not sure what's going to happen to us, but I will never stop loving you."

Meara felt great. The only changes she had to deal with were sleeping like the dead for 9 to 10 hours a night and feeling too warm. She only fiddled with the environmental controls in her room because she didn't want to make anyone suspicious, so Talyn kept complaining about freezing. Her immediate and vast relief at finding out that their plan was working soon gave way to a feeling of deep contentment. She went about her ordinary life as if nothing was different and then she'd remember that she had a secret.

"Quit glowing," Talyn said as they sat alone together. He was trying with little success to fix an instrument she had broken in her earlier tantrum and Meara was cleaning her guns.

"What?" Meara said.

"You're radiant," he said conspiratorially. "Someone will think something is up."

"Well, at least my breasts aren't pink anymore." She smiled. "Do you have any idea why I'm so hot all the time?"

"Hmm. Your body's probably trying to keep a constant low temperature and avoid excess heat. We Sebaceans have a lower magnetic potential than a lot of species. We need less of an equilibrium shift for excitation and.....I lost you, didn't I?" he said, seeing the look on her face. She nodded.

"Okay-the same thing that gives us better reflexes, more strength under stress and longer lifespan than similar species is also what makes us susceptible to heat and radiation. It makes sense that you are more sensitive to heat right now to protect the baby. I have no idea what's going on with your sleep cycle."

"You're just guessing, aren't you?" she said, starting in on one of Talyn's guns.

"I don't know that much about pregnancy. Reproductive technology is a separate field," he admitted.

Meara started singing quietly to herself. Talyn enjoyed it without comment for a microt and then suddenly interrupted. "You're singing." He looked shocked. "What is that, a lullaby?"

"What's a lullaby?"

"It's something you sing to a baby. Where did you learn that?"

"It's a Traveller song. It's about this man who gets separated from the woman he loves-he either gets captured by Zenetan Pirates or becomes one. I'm not sure because I only heard it once and I don't remember all the words. Anyway, the rest of it is about everything he goes through to find her again. I like it because it's like their star charts."

"What about the star charts? Did Risa figure them out?" He had the same left behind look that Meara had a microt earlier.

"No, I did," Meara said smugly. "Risa told me to look for constants, the same things you would find in any charts, and I did. They're actually almost in code. For instance, the third star from the right has a unique signature. They don't show a faster way back and I'm not putting them in the ships navigational system because the only point of origin they use is the gathering place star."

"And the song?"

"It has the same clues. You couldn't use it for precise navigation, of course, but it has enough to give you a hint or two. Wonder if that's how Rouj figured it out?" she mused.

"Well, you're brilliant as well as radiant," Talyn complimented her.

"Thank you," she said smugly.

"And you have a lovely voice."