Aeryn wipes the sweat from her brow and tries to stay focused on her imaginary opponent and her workout. How did I wind up as a fugitive on a Leviathan transport? Death sentence if I'm ever caught. "You know how....", a little voice in her head answers back. She loses her concentration on the workout as her mind wanders once again to the most bizarre creature she'd ever met. "Crichton" "John Crichton" A _human_. I am here because of four simple words that saved my life. I didn't want to go with him. It was my duty to stay in prison and die honorably. _He_ had the nerve and arrogance to tell me, "You can be more."

The little voice heckles her, "That's not the real reason...." I went with him because.... What did I say to him on the Zelbinion? Aeryn replays the conversation in her mind:

"... haven't you ever just clicked with a guy?"

"What? 'Clicked'?"

"Yeah. You know, found a guy... attractive."

"Yes, but it... I didn't let it... in the beginning, I found you... interesting."

"Me?"

"Yes, but only for a moment."

The little voice, starting to sound like John, replies, "But you lied like a dog, didn't you? When you saw John kissing that tech Gilina, you were jealous and hurt." I certainly find him to be appealing, intriguing even. She smiles at those thoughts. But Crichton is also the most frustrating and annoying man I have ever known. Sometimes I think his sole life purpose is to think of new and improved ways of annoying me....

"he, he, he, he, he, he...", the little voice laughs at her. "You know why you went with John. You never needed anyone in your life before and you obviously don't need him now. But you want him just the same. That confuses you. He makes you uncomfortable - he disarms you. Officer Sun defeated by a smile from a human male. You know he was right about you, you are more because of him."

John walks on to Talyn's command deck and says, "What's up Talyn. I'm John, John Crichton."

"Beep, beep, chirp, beep; beep, beep, beep," Talyn responds back.

John takes a look around the command deck and whistles. "Amazing. Boy I have to say Aeryn was right about you. You are one heck of a ship. Totally amazing."

"Beep, chirp, beep," Talyn responds happily.

"Talyn, thank you for saving our lives." John walks around the command deck checking out all the equipment. "I thought we were goners but then I saw you coming out of that asteroid field. You saved our butts. That took guts. Like John Wayne... you know the big guy."

"Chirp, chirp, beep, beep, beep"

"Talyn, how about you and me going out for a spin around the block. You can show me some of those moves of yours...."

Aeryn beats up on the training dummy. Little voice, "John, who went on the reckless mission to the Gammak Base and got the paraphorm tissue graft to save your life. He was willing to sacrifice himself to save you."

Aeryn knew she had strong feelings for John -- she just wasn't sure how to categorize them. Aeryn tries to sort through her feelings. "Do I only want to... do that with him (her cheeks blush), or... could it be more?" The feelings seized her in a way that she'd seldom felt before. "I'm afraid of how I feel," she admits to herself. And John's selfless act only intensified her feelings.

Aeryn sighs. "But how does John feel about me?" Self-doubt enters her mind. After everything I've done to him. After all the times I bit his head off, took out my anger on him, assaulted him, belittled him, insulted him, made fun of him, resisted his entreaties of friendship. After the way we both stepped back after the Flax... After the way that Larraq and I ... 'clicked'.... What if he only wants to be friends, comrades?

Little voice, "Don't you know how much _you_ mean to _him_? You see the way he looks at you. You read it in his eyes..."

Little voice, sounding exactly like John, "What are _you_ afraid of Aeryn?" Are you afraid of a human male?"

"Aeryn Sun.... Officer Sun," says Pilot.

Pilot's voice brings her focus back. Pausing from her workout Aeryn says, "Yes Pilot?"

"Long range scanners have found a planet that meets the search criteria you specified."

Huh? What? "Pilot what are you talking about?"

"The search request you made over half a cycle ago after _our_ unfortunate encounter with the scientist Namtar. You asked me to be on the look out for..."

Aeryn remembers and cuts Pilot off saying, "...a planet with a Sebacean population..."

"...a planet where you would be able fit in. Where you'd be able to settle down and live."

"Pilot, you're sure that I'll fit in, that nobody will be able to tell that I'm an outsider from another planet?"

"Yes. The population is 100% Sebacean. I project that we will make planet-fall in a few solar days."

"Thanks Pilot," Aeryn says. As if I didn't have enough to think about. Aeryn hadn't forgotten how it felt when she thought everyone would soon be going home 51; everyone, that is, except her. She also hadn't forgotten how she'd responded to that situation. Even Crichton would someday find his home, Erp. He would probably ask her to go with him again, but she knew she would never fit in there. Never be comfortable there. And how could I go with him after what happened on the false Erp? No, he would leave and then she would be truly alone.

Aeryn finishes her workout, goes back to her quarters and takes a long shower. She stands under the shower for a long time enjoying the water pounding on her tired body. She walks out of the bathroom wearing John's Calvins and one of his T-shirts. She is drying her hair with a towel. "Hiya Sunshine," she hears his voice say. She looks out from under the towel and sees John leaning against the wall, smiling at her. Aeryn makes eye contact, smiles back at him from under the towel, and then quickly turns away. I don't want him to get the wrong idea. I'm not _that_ happy to see him. She continues drying her hair.

John just stands there smiling while humming the tune to a Frank Sinatra song. Aeryn finishes drying her hair. She looks at John trying not to smile back at him, without success. Aeryn's cheeks blush and she says, "What?... What are you so happy about?"

John says, "Uh, I don't know." He starts whistling, looks up at the ceiling and keeps looking around with a big smile on his face. Aeryn grabs a pillow from her bed and throws it at him.

John catches the pillow and says, "Okay, okay. I have a gift for you." John places the pillow against the back of a chair. "Here have a seat." He takes her hand. Aeryn hesitatingly sits down on the chair having no idea what he is up to. "No the other way. Sit backwards in the chair and lean forward facing into the pillow." Aeryn harrumphs at him and turns around.

John moves to stand behind her. He gently places his hands on her shoulders. He feels her tense up at his closeness, his touch. John starts gently rubbing her shoulders and says, "When I was being tortured on the Gammak base I thought I was going to die there. When you came to rescue me, I was so filled with joy. Then you saved me again when I was drifting in space with D'Argo. Thank you for all the times you saved me." He kisses her on the top of her head and continues massaging her shoulders.

At first Aeryn remains tense, resisting his touch. "What is he trying to do," she wonders. John continues rubbing and massaging her back a little more vigorously all the while humming the Sinatra song. "Probably another silly Erp ritual. Humor him," she tells herself. Aeryn goes against her PeaceKeeper instincts, slowly giving in. She eventually relaxes -- realizing that what John is doing feels quite nice. Different and strange, yes, but nice. "This is what I really like about John", she thinks to herself as her mind and thoughts begin to wander. "He is always so nice to me. He's a giving, not a taking person."

Aeryn softly says, "Ooh," as John finds a particularly large knot in her back between her shoulder blades.

John says, "Sorry Sunshine." He carefully massages the knot away. Aeryn listens with interest to the song John is humming. He keeps massaging for the next twenty minutes. Working out all of the knots in her back. Aeryn has literally become putty in his hands.

When he is done he stands there with his hands resting lightly on her shoulders. Aeryn sits there amazed at this new calm and peaceful feeling, this new gift John has given to her. Even though she tries to hold them back, tears form in her eyes. They stay that way for the next five minutes. Aeryn then slowly stands up, and turns around. Their eyes meet and John sees Aeryn's eyes have teared up. Her eyes say, "Thank you" as she jumps into his arms. He is somewhat surprised and just stands there holding her.

"What do you know, dad was right," John thinks to himself. "Sometimes the best communication takes place without any words being spoken at all."

*** A few solar days later. ***

John wakes up shaking and startled from his recurring nightmare about being tortured in 'the chair'. "Only a dream John," he tells himself. "It's not real." He lays in bed for a while trying to go back to sleep. "Another night's sleep ruined," John murmurs as he rolls over in bed. He rubs the sides of his temples. The middle of night on Moya and I'm wide-awake with nothing to do. "Oh well", he says as he rolls out of bed, puts on a pair of pants and goes for a walk.

John wanders around on the many decks of Moya for the next quarter of an arn. He finds himself standing in front of the entrance to the galley. Still feeling wired, he decides to get a snack. John grabs some food cubes and a bottle of Fellip nectar, and then heads back out for the terrace. "Boy what I wouldn't do for a burger, some french fries and a beer. A real beer," he thinks.

John walks to the terrace, sits down on the floor and gazes in wonderment at the stars. He wonders if he can see his own solar system.

A while later Zhaan walks in and says, "Hi John."

"Hey Zhaan," he says without looking back at her. "What are you doing up? You couldn't sleep either?"

"I was meditating John, I'm not tired. So I went for a walk. Did you have the nightmare again?"

"Yes... but it happens less frequently now."

Zhaan sits down next to John waiting for him to decide what he wants to talk about.

After a while John says, "I've been pondering the meaning of life Zhaan and guess what? I've found it." John thinks, "Yes, it is corny and it's from a movie, but if the shoe fits...." He turns to face Zhaan, holds up his right hand, points his index finger at her and says, "This. This is the meaning of life Zhaan."

Zhaan is quite mystified. "Your finger... your finger is the meaning of life? John I fail to understand what are you talking about?"

John takes another swig of Fellip nectar and says, "I'm talking about one thing. A moment in your life when realize that one thing is more important than anything and everything else. Nothing else matters. The trick is to let your passion guide you down the path so you can find that one thing."

Zhaan looks at John curiously thinking about what he said. "So you're saying that you have found... that 'one thing' as you call it?"

John smiles and says, "Yep, I've found it."

Zhaan thinks, "This should be interesting." She says, "Well enlighten me."

"For the longest time all I could think about was returning home to Earth. I wanted to forget about everything that happened out here. I wanted to go back to my old life. But I now know that I can't forget, I can't go back. After that experience with the false Earth, I couldn't take the chance that they'd harm my friends. I'm not the same person I used to be. I don't fit in on Earth anymore. I have a new life here. And then, of course, there's Aeryn."

"Ahh, your 'one thing'?"

"Yep. Aeryn is the most wonderful, fun and playful companion at times. I can't imagine not knowing her, not being with her, even only as friends. Aeryn and I are not an obvious match -- I really didn't believe it at first. Then I didn't want to admit it to myself. Deep in my heart I know that we are right for each other. Aeryn feels like home to me. There is an old Earth saying that home is where the heart is. Wherever Aeryn is, I want to be with her. Whatever I'm doing, I want to do it with her by my side. That's what it boils down to."

Comprehending what John has told her Zhaan says, "John the longer I know you the more you amaze me. When we first met I wasn't sure what to make of you. Now just when I think I understand you, when I think I've got you all figured out you show me another side of yourself that I've not seen before. You keep surprising me. I'm happy for you. You and Aeryn are good for each other. How will you break the news to her? Will you be initiating some form of courtship or mating ritual?"

John chokes on a swig of Fellip nectar. "You know Zhaan, I hadn't quite figured that part out yet. Aeryn has difficulty expressing her feelings, dealing with emotions. I don't want to scare her away. I have to keep gradually drawing her out. Courtship's a good idea, but I don't think we are quite ready for a mating ritual just yet. In our own time we will be though." John pauses.

Zhaan waits and looks at the stars. She thinks, "I've never seen John so happy. Aeryn tries to hide her feelings, but I suspect she feels the same way. Such a blessing, a privilege. May the Goddess bless these two souls. How refreshing to watch two people fall in love. It has been such a long time since I've had those feelings...."

John looks at Zhaan and continues, "I've been concerned about Aeryn for the last day or two. I know something's been weighing on her mind, bothering her. When I try to get her to talk about it she gets all-defensive on me. I almost feel like she's been avoiding me. I'm not sure what's going on in that thick, stubborn skull of hers...."

"John you need to give her time. Her life has changed more drastically than yours did. She has stopped being a PeaceKeeper. Then on the Zelbinion she was forced to accept that _her_ actions had consequences. Her former friends and comrades were demoted to grunt work. They can only be re-instated upon her death. Because of her, some of them died there. Now even if she could go back to her former life, there is no former life to go back to. She is an adult but in certain ways she is like a child still growing up. Because she is no longer a PeaceKeeper living a structured military life, she now has the freedom to discover herself and who she is."

"I know Zhaan, trust me I know...."

*** Sometime later that morning. ***

Aeryn says with frustration, "Rygel _what_ do I have to do to get them from you?"

"Aeryn Sun, a PeaceKeeper asking _me_ for a favor?" Rygel harrumphs. "You can start by treating me with the proper respect due to someone in my position."

"Is that all your Royal Highness?" She thinks, "If he doesn't quit while he's ahead I'm going to twist that little head of his until it pops off."

"If I do this for you, one day I will ask a favor in return...."

John wakes up having slept in late. He takes breakfast in the galley by himself. Feeling in need of a fun distraction, John goes to the docking bay and works on the Farscape module for a few arns.

Having successfully distracted himself with the Farscape module, John feels much more relaxed. I wonder where Aeryn is right now; I need to try to get her to talk again. He looks over at her Prowler and thinks, "I know she's not working on that." I wonder what she's up to. John goes off to find her. He checks the fitness training area -- nobody here. Next he checks her quarters -- nobody home. Hmm, could ask Pilot where she is but that'd be cheating. He then decides to check the command deck. The door to command is open. As John walks up he stops because he hears the tail end of a conversation:

"... Pilot you're sure that this planet has an active ret'siolc?"

"Yes, Aeryn Sun. I've located the elpmet."

"Okay then. You're sure that I'll fit in, that nobody will be able to tell that I'm an outsider from another planet?"

"Yes. Population is nearly 100% Sebacean. We will make planet-fall sometime tomorrow."

"Thank you Pilot. I'll need some time to go and pack. Please have a transport pod ready as soon we make planet-fall."

John is in shock over what he just heard. He struggles to grasp what it means. "That's odd. Why would Aeryn be looking for a planet with a 100% Sebacean population?" His mind starts racing: thoughts quickly popping in and out of his head. With a sick feeling in his stomach his thoughts converge on one idea. He mutters, "I can't believe it. She's bugging out on me." Reality crashes down upon him. He thinks, "I can't deal with this, there is _no way_ I can deal with this." John turns and starts running away back down the corridor picking up speed. Rounding a turn in the hallway, he plows into D'Argo at full speed like a linebacker blind-siding a quarterback. D'Argo winds up on the floor with the wind knocked out of him. Crichton is on the floor next to him.

D'Argo says, "Crichton! What the Hezmana has gotten into you?"

John shakes his head, looks past D'Argo like he isn't there and says, "No. It can't be. NO!" John then softly says, "no," gets up and continues running away.

Having heard D'Argo's voice yelling at Crichton, Aeryn jogs down the corridor. She stops and sees D'Argo sitting on the floor, rubbing the sore spot on his chest where Crichton hit him.

"D'Argo, what happened?"

D'Argo, still a bit surprised that Crichton, a puny human, was physically capable of flooring him, glares up at her and says, "Aeryn. What the frell is wrong with Crichton? He jumped me like we were playing fuzzball again."

Aeryn puts a hand up to hid her smile and says, "That's Foot-ball. John tackled you?" She laughs.

D'Argo frowns back at her and says, "Crichton mumbled something about how it can't be, and yelled no. Are you dying again?"

Aeryn, "What are you talking about?"

"Come on Aeryn. You can fool the others, but I _know_ there's something going on with you and Crichton." With some amusement Aeryn helps D'Argo get up off the floor. "I've known ever since I rescued you two from the Flax. What else would set him off like that? Did you two have another fight?"

Aeryn thinks to herself. What is John's Erp term for this? 'Crap', isn't it? "Crap! D'Argo, John must have heard me talking to Pilot about something. I can't explain it now but you have to help me find him so I can talk to him. Let's split up and go looking for him. Assuming, of course, that he hasn't permanently injured you?" Aeryn giggles.

"Very funny Aeryn. Very funny."

Aeryn and D'Argo go searching around looking for John for the next few arns. Despite their efforts, they are unable to find him. D'Argo activates his comm-link and calls Aeryn. "Aeryn, meet me back in command."

Aeryn walks into command and sees D'Argo pacing. "'bout time Aeryn. I have not seen any sign of Crichton. Let's face it. Crichton hid from me quite well when I was in Luxan hyper-rage. If he does not want to be found we will not be able to find him. Let's ask Pilot to locate him using the DRD's."

They both walk down to Pilot's chamber. Aeryn enters the chamber while D'Argo lingers by the entrance. Aeryn says, "Hi Pilot."

Pilot says, "Greetings. All is well Aeryn Sun."

Aeryn says, "Pilot. D'Argo and I have been looking for John for the past few arns. You haven't seen him have you?"

D'Argo, seeing that Aeryn is occupied talking to Pilot, takes the opportunity to go off looking for John again on his own.

Pilot says, "No Aeryn Sun. I have not seen John Crichton. Is there a problem?"

Aeryn, "There has been a ... misunderstanding. I _need_ to find John and talk to him. Can you locate him with the DRD's?"

Pilot thinks to himself, "I was wondering when they would get around to asking for help to find him..." There is little that goes on aboard Moya that Pilot does not know about. Pilot is torn between wanting to help his friend Aeryn Sun and wanting to respect Crichton's wishes. Pilot thinks, "...if Crichton does not want to be found, if he does not want to talk to them right now why should I interfere?"

Pilot verifies his information and then says, "Crichton has his comm-link turned off. I am sending out the DRD's now. I will inform you as soon as they find anything."

"Thanks Pilot," Aeryn says.

As Aeryn leaves Pilot's chamber she wonders where D'Argo went.

*** Later that day. ***

After hiding for a few arns in some of Moya's access tunnels (the ones that served so well when D'Argo was in full Luxan hyper-rage mode), John sits on a crate in one of Moya's seldom used cargo bays. I feel... how do I feel? Angry? Betrayed? Hurt? Lost? Sad? Yes more sad than anything else -- very sad. It hadn't occurred to me that Aeryn would be looking for a planet to settle down on, a home, somewhere to belong, to fit in. Granted it has taken time, a long time, for us to get to know each other, for her to let her guard down, to finally let me in -- well I thought she'd finally opened the door. He sighs. I thought we were developing something together: a relationship, or at least a friendship. A friendship, that's funny. John looks around and says, "John you are head over heels in love with her. You have been ever since you met her when she kicked the crap out of you." I can't believe she's leaving me.

"Crichton."

John turns to see D'Argo, but he is tired and doesn't have the energy to run away any more.

"Yo D'Argo... I'm sorry... about before, I didn't mean to...."

D'Argo, a little embarrassed at having been tackled, says, "Already forgotten. But one of these days you will have to teach me more about football and how to tackle properly."

"How did you find me?"

"Your scent. You humans have a very distinctive odor. It took me some time but I managed to follow your trail." D'Argo approaches John and sits down across from him.

D'Argo continues, "Crichton... Aeryn is looking for you. She is concerned. She made me help her look for you. If you won't talk to her then I'm going to give you a choice. Either you tell me what's going on or I'm going to tie you up, drag you back to Aeryn and _make_ you talk to her."

Knowing that D'Argo is physically capable of following through on his threat and afraid that he actually might, John says, "Woman troubles rasta man. Woman troubles."

D'Argo shrugs his shoulders and says, "I thought as much. Aeryn is a difficult woman to understand. Maybe I can help. Tell me. Out with it."

John blurts out, "Aeryn's leaving. She's leaving me D'Argo. We'll soon be arriving at a planet. She's going down there and she's not coming back."

D'Argo thinks, "Women." D'Argo says, "How do you know this? What makes you think she's not coming back?"

"D'Argo you really don't know how Aeryn feels. Back when we ran into Namtar, she thought everyone else was going home. Everyone except her. She tried not to show it and won't admit it but she is afraid of being left alone. Besides I heard her talking to Pilot about it."

"Crichton how do you feel? How do you feel about her?"

"D'Argo you already know how I feel about her. She is my 'Tche-vok' as you Luxans put it."

D'Argo thinks, "True love? So you do love her..." He says, "And what are you going to do about it?"

Without stopping to think about it he says, "Nothing. There's nothing I can do. I asked too much of her hoping that she would want to stay with me."

"Crichton you have to tell her. You have to let her know."

"But ... why? To what end?"

"No buts Crichton. Exactly how many women in your life have you been in love with, truly in love with?"

John thinks about it and says, "There was only one other that even came close: Alex. But it wasn't the same with her, not like it is with Aeryn."

"John I'm not old and wise like Zhaan but I do know one thing. So many beings travel through their lives never finding someone to love. How else can you know if she loves you back?" He pauses. "You have to let her know. Take the chance. You are a _coward_ if you do not."

John looks at D'Argo and thinks about what he has said. He says, "You may be right. Thanks Big D. I owe you one."

Feeling tired and emotionally drained, John cautiously mopes his way back to his quarters not particularly wanting to talk to anybody else right now. Once in his quarters he kicks off his shoes, hops into bed not bothering to get undressed, and falls asleep.

Aeryn stays crouched down in her hiding spot as she watches John. She thinks, "He is occasionally predictable. I knew he would come back here eventually to sleep." She waits a few minutes before being certain he is asleep. Good John did not see her watching the hallway to his quarters. At least some of my PeaceKeeper skills are still intact. She silently walks through the open door to his quarters. Aeryn looks at John with a new emotion in her eyes. He looks like dren, like he's been crying. She says to herself, "What am I going to do with you John?"

Aeryn stands there watching John for a minute or two unsure of what to do. Making up her mind, Aeryn pulls her boots off, very gently lifts up his blanket, and crawls into bed with him. She nestles up against his warm body and falls asleep with her arm across his chest and her head by his shoulder.

The next morning John wakes up with a startle from a dream. In his dream he had lost something... something important. He needed to find that which was lost. He kept searching and searching... afraid he would never find it again."

Another part of his mind demands his attention. "You are not alone in this bed," it says. He rolls over finding himself face to face with Aeryn. "Aeryn?" John says softly. Am I still dreaming? Not quite believing she is real, John gingerly caresses the side of her face. Aeryn mumbles his name. Feels real enough. John finds himself wondering how they wound up in bed together.

John looks at Aeryn, beautiful Aeryn. He thinks, "This will be the last day, the last time I'll ever see her." His heart breaks as he gently caresses her cheek and jaw. He moves an errant strand of hair away from her face and softly says, "Aeryn... Aeryn..." He stops as she wakes up.

Aeryn says, "John?"

He swallows and continues, "I need to tell you something... I need to tell you that... that I... um... I love you." There I said it even though it hurt. Man that was difficult.

Aeryn moves closer to John and kisses him passionately. She says, "I know." The little voice in Aeryn's head says, "Tell him. You know it's true. It is how you feel." Aeryn smiles and says, "I love you too John." Then with lightning speed and agility Aeryn rolls him over and pins him to his bed with her knees holding his shoulders down.

John has a flashback to when he first met Aeryn. "When she whooped my ass and sat on me just like this." He says, "What the... Aeryn?"

"John, just so you can't run away from me again. " Aeryn says as she pokes him twice in the chest. "D'Argo and I spent many arns looking for you yesterday. That was of course after you knocked D'Argo flat on his back." She smiles at him again.

"John there is something I need to talk to you about. " She continues playfully poking him in the chest.

John had been dreading having this conversation. "I know. I overheard you talking to Pilot. That's why I ran away yesterday. I couldn't deal with it." Aeryn still sits on top of him. "You're leaving and going down onto the planet that we are rapidly approaching. The planet with the Sebacean population. You came to say goodbye. I still can't believe you're leav..." John is stymied, and stops talking because Aeryn starts laughing, falls over on her back and continues laughing uncontrollably.

"Aeryn?... Aeryn!" says John as she continues to laugh that deep belly laugh of hers. John just sits there staring at her with his mouth open, not knowing what the big joke is. "Aer..."

"John ssshhh" says Aeryn while placing her index finger over his lips. "Yes I am going down there on the planet. But I'm not staying there and I'm not leaving you. I'm also not going down there alone." She winks at John and says, "Am I?"

John just sits there completely confused. What is this woman talking about? Wait a minute, back up. I think I missed part of the conversation here. He looks at Aeryn and notices the gleam in her eyes. Such beautiful eyes. "What? Aeryn I don't understand..."

Aeryn says playfully, "Such a typical male. You know you can't get rid of me that easily." She tenderly touches John's face. "Do I have to explain it to you?" John nods uh-huh. "I want you to come with me on a junky to the planet. For a few days. Some time for just the two of us to be together." She kisses him deeply. "Some time to get away from our 'shipmates', to get away from everything and have some fun."

John smiles as he loses himself looking into her eyes. Interesting turn of events. Junky. Junky? "A junky? You mean a junket, a little vacation?"

"Fa-ka-shun -- John what's a fakashun?"

@Finis

For inquiring minds that want to know: John was humming the Frank Sinatra song, "I've Got You Under My Skin."