Rating: PG, if even that
Category: Episode Addition, Short story
Spoilers/season: up to Fractures but primarily The Choice; set sometime between Fractures & I-Yensch, You-Yensch
Summary: Rygel remembers his lost love, Kellor, after they are reunited with Moya and the rest of the crew.

Author's Note: Okay, I don't really write a lot of stories, I'm better at drawing, but I thought it would be interesting to try to write something about Rygel's 'one true love' that he lost. I've had this idea in my head since last August when I saw The Choice. Hopefully it turned out okay, please let me know what you think, whether you love it or hate it, I'd appreciate it.

Rygel checked the corridor carefully before entering the ducts where he'd made his own little hideaway from the others. He'd actually discovered the usefulness of these while he was a prisoner, and saw no reason to share this finding with the others unless absolutely necessary. Satisfied no one was nearby, he slipped inside and headed for the one spot he knew they had no chance of finding him--he'd long ago disabled the sensor net in this area, and as it was very near the starburst chamber, Moya had paid it no mind that a small area was no longer detectable to her.

Rygel didn't want the others to see or hear what he was doing. Sure, being back on Moya was quite refreshing after sharing quarters on Talyn with Stark. Of course, anything would be better than sharing quarters with Stark for any length of time, Rygel thought to himself, maybe even being a Peacekeeper prisoner again. Well, maybe not that, he conceded.

He clicked on the small holoimager. He still wasn't sure why he felt the need to do this, but decided that it was probably Crichton's fault. He certainly hadn't had any such urges prior to meeting the human with his irritating habit of talking into that primitive recording device. Collecting himself and his thoughts, he began to speak.

My dearest love, he began as the memories of her flitted through his mind. I know that you would undoubtedly wonder why I am doing this, since it has been so long since I've felt the need to talk to you. If my mother saw me doing this, she'd yell at me that it wasn't proper behavior for a Dominar, pining over someone who could never be my wife. But...I think I need to do this.

Not too long ago, a shipmate of mine--though if anyone had told me that I would consider a Peacekeeper, or former one, a shipmate just a few short years ago, I would have laughed in their face--lost someone she held very dear to her heart. And then we went to a very odd planet of mystics, recommended to us by yet another shipmate--though he was totally fahrbot, I don't know why we listened to him in the first place. But one of the mystics there, somehow, some way, knew about you, Kellor. I never did get to hear what he had to say, the seer vanished and no one would tell me where he'd gone when I asked later, once I believed that he really did know about you.

The former Peacekeeper, though, had been in a really bad place at the time and didn't want to listen to anyone. Not that I blame her when it came to Crais and Stark--I wouldn't have listened to them either. But she seemed to listen, if only for a moment when I tried to reason with her, when I told her that I knew what she was going through because I'd been there myself. But then she turned away and told me to leave. I hesitated--can you imagine, me, hesitating or worrying about a Peacekeeper?--but left, knowing I had done all I could for her. I knew it had to be her decision to come back to Talyn.

But since that day, I've had memories of you crowding my mind. I dreamt of you, how you used to stroke my earbrows while I spoke sweet words of my love to you, how gentle your touch was, and how you loved me for me, not for the throne I'd one day occupy. I think, my love, that was part of the reason why I was so susceptible to Orrhn's advances when we came back here to Moya. Because I wanted to believe that I could find someone like you once again. And to be totally honest, in part it was because it had been such a very long time since I'd even seen a Hynerian female. But mostly it was because of memories of you. But that's a story for another time.

I still remember that day when my mother discovered I had had the audacity to fall in love with a commoner. She was absolutely livid when I defended my love for you, and told her I didn't care at that moment if I ever became Dominar, that all I wanted was to spend my life with the one I loved. She told me that you were after my throne, that you didn't care about me. She brought you before me and questioned you about your intentions over my protests.

I didn't see it then, having gone numb when you confirmed what my mother claimed. But you were lying, weren't you? Trying to protect me, knowing that I had to take the throne and that the only way I'd do so was if I believed that you were using me. My mother got to you, somehow, I remember saying to you...but you denied it. My heart broke a little more every time you spoke, detailing how you planned to use me, and eventually I stopped listening.

Sometime afterward my mother had you removed from the palace, realizing that she had won and I would do as she wished and be the Dominar she'd raised me to be. I went on with my life, married many noble wives, had hundreds of offspring...but my heart still ached for you all the while.

But that time in my rooms was not the last time I saw you...no. Bishan's planned treachery had somehow reached your ears and the night of the coup, you tried to warn me, rescue me, something... I remember a soft voice by my ear, and a gentle hand shaking me awake, telling me that I was in danger, and had to rub my eyes, thinking I was still dreaming. For you were standing there, and silenced my questions with word of Bishan's treason. You pulled me out of bed, and we headed for the secret passages to make our escape...your every action proving to me that you had lied so many years before.

We nearly made it...but the Hynerian Gods decided that they would play one last jest on our poor benighted souls--just as I realized that you did indeed love me, never had stopped loving me, one of Bishan's men turned the corner and fired, hitting you. You were dying in my arms as they surrounded me, and pulled you from my grasp as you softly whispered your last words of love to me. I fought the guards furiously, trying to reach you, uncaring of my own safety until they were forced to knock me unconscious.

I lost more than my throne that night...I lost the one person who loved and cherished me...

Rygel paused, as tears filled his eyes with that memory. He wiped them away, checking the area around him again to be certain that no one was near, not wanting any of the others to see him like this. He gathered his thoughts once more, and again spoke.

Kellor, I know that it is too late for us in this lifetime, that we never could have been together here. But if the Gods are kind, perhaps then we will be reunited in our Hallowed Realm someday, and never be parted again. I love you, Kellor. I always have, and I always will.