Disclaimer: They’re not mine, I don’t own ‘em, just please let me use your characters for a little while and I promise to return them as well as they began this ficlet. Thanks in advance.
Spoilers: Up through Revenging Angel (written before The Choice)
Foreword: I recently asked a question on the bboard regarding what John’s reactions to his (newly hatched) twinned brother dying and Aeryn’s relation with him would be. So, in my own fashion, I wrote this ficlet to examine a couple of the possibilities. Also, based on the preview for Fractures, it doesn’t appear that John Crichton will learn of his ‘twin’s’ death in this way.
Acknowledgements: To my beta reader, Runnik, thank you for all your suggestions; and to the respondents to my post for their insight.
“He’s a friggin’ hero, D’Argo. How can I ever live up to him?” John sat
shaking his head. He looked up at D’Argo; there were tears in his eyes.
“I thought you hated the guy. I thought it would be good riddance. Isn’t
that what you would have said?” D’Argo could only wonder what was going on
inside John’s head.
“Yeah, you would have thought so, wouldn’t you? Well, I’m not happy, not at
all. I think I’ve hated myself, and now I have to mourn my own death. And
how do I face Aeryn? Will she hate me for not being him? Will she even look
at me?” John slumped lower so that his chin was resting on his knees,
“Those are questions only you and Aeryn can answer. Just ask and I will be
there for you.” D’Argo said.
“John, I find it hard to believe you are sorry he’s gone.” D’Argo stood
over a brooding John Crichton. They all learned about how the other John
Crichton had died; had sacrificed himself for the universe, it would seem.
The news had come from Talyn’s communication to Moya who told Pilot, who in
turn informed everyone aboard.
“Harvey, I do believe you are moping. Don’t tell me YOU have a scintilla of emotion in you.” John was getting more used to these little tête-à-têtes with Harvey, but this was the most bizarre one yet. They were standing outside an American funeral home, dressed in dark suits. People were milling out of the Funeral Home. John did not recognize anyone. They were faces from a magazine or newspaper.
“Yes, John, I too am surprised. I never realized how integral a part of your brain your emotions are. Right now, they are both overwhelming and confusing.” Harvey looked directly into John’s eyes.
“Or do you miss your new brother?” John toyed with Harvey.
“That’s a foolish question. I never met him, how could I? And, can you know that John had a Harvey.” Harvey said.
“We are/were identical in every way, he had his Harvey too.” John flatly stated. “Harvey, I’m not in any mood to deal with you now. Make yourself scarce, Forever would be nice.”
“Well John, I’ll do your bidding. I’m there for you when you need me. Just ask.” Harvey disappeared from John’s mind’s eye.
John walked into the lab area that Jool had taken over from Zhaan. He found solace in places that were Zhaan’s, where Zhaan had made an imprint. He wanted to be alone around Zhaan’s presence, but he found Jool fussing over the equipment instead. “Oh hi Jool. Whatchya doin’?”
“Just some cleaning up. How are you doing, John?” Curiously, John heard genuine concern in Jool’s voice.
“Um, okay, I guess.” John said.
“You don’t look okay. I know you don’t much like me. But if you want to talk, I’ll listen.” Jool stopped fussing with the equipment and quietly faced John. “I’ll be available if you ever want to talk.”
“Thank you, Jool. That is very kind of you.” John left the area.
Jool did not like the look on John’s face as he left. She surprised herself with the concern she felt. She commed Chiana. “I’m worried about John. He just left me… I think you should talk to him. And I’d like you to help.”
“I’m on the Terrace. John is on his way here now.” Chiana commed back.
“How do you know?” Jool asked.
“I know. Just do.” Chiana said.
“Chiana! Man, how is it I can’t find a place to be alone on such a huge ship?” John walked onto the Terrace only to find Chiana staring out the portal.
“You don’t want to be alone. I know. You wouldn’t let me be alone when I thought I lost my brother. Now I’m here for you.” Chiana hugged Crichton as she spoke.
“You ran away from me!” John protested.
“Yeah, but you tried to comfort me. And you did. Now let me comfort you.” Chiana kept holding John.
John tried to pull away from Chiana, but her hold on him was too firm. “Chiana please, I need some time alone. I don’t know what to think, to feel. It’s not like I really knew the guy, and he took Aeryn from me. He was my rival, but he was me. I start feeling happy, and then I get these waves of guilt. I feel sad, and I don’t know what I’m sad about.” John looked at China and saw a deep caring in her eyes. “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything dumb. Really, I’ll be all right. I just want to be here and look out onto the stars. You can stay if you want, but I don’t want to talk.”
Chiana released her hold on John. They both turned toward the portal. “John, I’ll always be here for you.”
“I know, kiddo. Thanks.” John lightly hugged Chiana.