Author's Note: This story was written after DMD and essentially buried on my computer until a few days ago...

*~*~*~*~*~*

"I hope you meant what you said in the neural cluster... I did." Her final words before her mind, body, and soul; still trapped in that frelling chair; crashed into the frozen lake of the Ice Planet.

"Noooooooooo!"

"Aeryn!"

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Nnnn." Crichton screamed helplessly as he woke up in a cold sweat and consequently fell onto the floor of his quarters.

For the last three weekens, he had been having the same dream over and over and over again. The only true love of his life dying. //How could I?// He questioned himself and his sanity. He knew on a basic level that the chip had killed her. //If I had taken over myself sooner...// He looked to his right, wishing so hard Aeryn was there to comfort him, as she had in the past, but found himself alone, again, blaming himself. //She's gone and it's my fault.//

He pulled himself back on to the bed as he heard Chiana enter his quarters. Crichton knew D'Argo had asked her to keep an eye on him, and reluctantly, she agreed. She was glad now that she did.

//Before the chip, Crichton was like Nerri in so many ways. Always guiding me, holding me when I cried the day Melak left to report back to Nerri, and constantly yelling at me for everything I did wrong.// Chiana smiled and closed the distance between the two. //The chip took part of his mind, but his actions...the chip's actions// she corrected herself// took his heart. No one's heard anything out of him in three weekens, not even acknowledgment that he wants help with anything.// She sat down on the bed and put her hand gently on his shoulder.

"Crichton." Chiana whispered softly. He lifted his head from the pillow and stared at her with dull, lost, painful eyes. They went the vibrant blue she had seen before when she first arrived aboard Moya a half a cycle ago.

"I...kllllmddd...hhherrr." he spoke gibberishly, his voice filled with pain and sorrow.

"It wasn't you."

"I...dddd. I...c...cldvvv...ssstttppd...it..." he got out before Chiana put her fingers to his lips. She could tell that trying to talk was draining him.

She looked around quickly and found the pillow from the bed laying on the floor. She picked it up and placed it back on the bed where it had started. She patted the pillow diligently and guided his head toward the pillow. She watched silently as he fell back asleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Chiana was searching Moya. Crichton had disappeared on her. "Frell." she muttered under her breath as she took a turn and headed up another tier. She had searched 14 of Moya's tiers looking for him.

She reached the top tier to find Crichton not there, but another discovery none the less. //The first time I was up here, I was digging through dren just to find anything... What I found was the data-cam of Aeryn killing the first pilot.// Instead, what she found was the whole tier had been straightened and all the excess junk had been thrown away. In the middle of the room stood a table with the projector and a data-cam sitting in the middle. Instinctively, Chiana knew it had to have been Aeryn. //D'Argo wouldn't have come up here if his life depended on it. Rygel wouldn't clean this tier. The slug barely cleans up after himself. I haven't been up here lately, neither has Crichton, and not Zhaan...// She walked closer and found the data-cam had John's name etched in it.

Chiana left the stuff on the top tier and continued to search for Crichton. She found him an arn later in his quarters softly humming as he began to make new pieces for his prized Chess board. Chiana knew the tune. It was the one he always hummed when he was depressed. //I haven't heard that since I came on board...//

"Crichton." she said softly. He turned around to see her leaning against the door. "There's something for you on the top tier."

Crichton looked at her curiously, but quickly made his way to the tier. He had never bothered to rummage through all the junk up there. He knew Chiana, Aeryn and Rygel would search through it from time to time to search for things. //For Chiana and Rygel, it was for things that might be worth money and for Aeryn it was anything might help them stay away from Peacekeepers.//

He stepped on to the tier to find the same thing Chi had seen. The whole tier straightened and cleaned. He immediately took to the data-cam and projector. His broken memory brought up an image of Aeryn shooting Pilot, but nothing more. He shrugged and put the tape in the projector.

Aeryn showed up. "John, if you ever get this, whatever happens don't ever forget what you brought to this vessel. Hope. Since you are watching this, it means I am dead. I want you to know..." she hesitated for a moment, took a deep breath and continued, "Ever since you saved me by risking yourself on the Gammak base, I have been very proud of you. You saved my life that day and many times after. Always remember I love you." she closed her eyes and the recording faded.