The Elephant Season 3: Eight Directions
Ep3.2: Parachutes

‘It’s amazing how one moment of absolute stupidity can bring on a wave of clarity. I found myself there beside Pilot. Looking down into the abyss with a strange sense of longing. For the end of pain and also for something else. Maybe just one moment of stillness. The gun had gone first. I got rid of the ugly thing without a second thought. That wasn’t what surprised me. “They say I’ll adapt. But I can’t do that.” Laying face up on the metal rafter, I see how wrong that answer is. I’ve been changing non-stop for the past three years/cycles without paying very much attention. The Tom Wells that sat on that rooftop so many nights ago would never have done the things I’ve done.

There’s Meryl. I could never talk to girls before without cracking under my own sense of insecurity. But something in those eyes cleared all the bs away. I saw her staring back at me. No posturing and no gimmicks. “You said attraction.” See, I’m laughing at myself for something that seemed so smooth at the time. Tom Wells, the ladies man. Perish the thought. There are other instances as well. My encounter with Chernov on Bob’s planet. I could name some more but it really isn’t necessary. While I’m here, I might as well get to a point.

You’d think that losing everything he cares for would destroy a man. In a way, I am destroyed. Look, I’m lying on this ledge aren’t I? But beyond the stupid suicide attempt, I’m still intact. Everything that can go wrong has and I survived. It’s almost disappointing. No loss of sanity. Just pushing forward. This isn’t even a real suicide attempt. I was still undecided when my foot slipped over the side. Meryl’s dead. The baby’s dead. Mom’s off somewhere. Me, I’m talking to myself.’

Tom Wells opened his eyes and winced in pain. He was lying face up on a thin walkway that crossed the abyss below Pilot’s den. Shards of loose metal fell away and dug into his back when he moved. “Where the hell?” Tom didn’t remember much of the last few minutes. The fall of course. But everything else seemed to blur over. He remembered talking to someone. Who? It didn’t really make much of a difference. He had more important things to worry about now. “Can anyone hear me!” His shout echoed up and down the walls but no answer came. At least not at first.

“Stop that shouting or I’m going to throw the both of us down there.” He looked in surprise to find Zelaya standing one ledge above his. The Ferrian had a disapproving look on her face. Small red marks surrounded a spot on her temple. “How did you find me?” Tom couldn’t think of anything else to ask her. Embarrassment was actually starting to sink in. “I didn’t. You found me.” She dropped down carefully and faced him. “I see we’ve been in the same frame of mind recently.” Tom nodded his head slightly. “It was sort of an accident.” Zelaya smiled. “Sort of?”

<<<<>>>>

‘I hate this. These uncomfortable moments in between actions. At the academy, they always told us to fight them. “No hesitation! See your objective and complete it.” That had worked more even after meeting Crichton and losing everything. I’ve still denied myself any time to consider things. “Make a plan and do it.” It’s frelling hard to do that when so many thoughts start to creep in. I don’t have a damn blocking device in my head. Everything gets through now. Whether I like it or not. What is it he said about two conflicting thoughts giving you a headache? Frell him.

What am I doing? I’m talking to myself is what. Soldiers don’t talk to themselves. Sane people don’t talk to themselves. I used to be sane. I think. Now everything is split into three categories. Aeryn the soldier. Aeryn and John. Just me. I don’t need to justify myself to you! (Who am I arguing with?) This isn’t only about some sweeping romance that changed the way I see things. This is about me. Who am I becoming as an individual? Now that sounds frelling insane.

He (John) woke up the other night and caught me doing it again. The frelling human still refuses to talk about it. I can see why. Seeing me just sitting there, staring at the pulse pistol. I don’t know why I do it. The gun’s not exactly an unfamiliar sight for me. I grew up using them. Best in my class. But it isn’t the same anymore. Doesn’t feel the same in my hands. I’ve changed without realizing it. Not just a soldier. Not just someone’s love interest. I can also be just a woman. What would he say if I told him that? Probably smile and talk some stupid human dren about progress. My friends could be dying right now. Can I have a moment of perspective? Is that too much to ask?

Now, where was I?’

Aeryn hadn’t seen the rock until it was already smashing into her foot. She had tripped and plunged headfirst to the ground. The white fog blocked her view from all sides. At least the shooting had stopped. “Crichton!” There was no reply. “D’Argo!” Still nothing. Aeryn rose to her feet and cursed under her breath. The pain was incredible. There was a large groan from off to the side. Moya appeared momentarily through the mist then disappeared again. “Frell, frell, frell....Kahaynu!” She whipped around and searched for the deity. He was still there.

“There’s nothing you can do off-.” She cut him off in mid-sentence and jammed the knife under his chin. Kahaynu shut up immediately. Aeryn wondered if he could be killed. Either way, the white fat man looked scared. “I’m not interested in what you believe. Tell me how to get back there.” He frowned and took a step back. “I’m sorry.” Aeryn watched with growing anger as he disappeared into the fog. She dove in after him.

<<<<>>>>

John lifted his head off the ground and tried to see through the smoke cover. Tiny pebbles from the ground had jabbed themselves into his exposed skin. A small wave of pain emanated from his right leg. “D’Argo? He couldn’t see the Luxan but something else was clear. Crichton hadn’t been hit. “John. That frelling...!” D’Argo couldn’t finish his sentence. The larger of the two men was still hitting himself repeatedly. Trying to make the blood run clear. “D, you ok man? Where’d it go in?” John’s head was filling with a thousand questions and one thought of pure anger.

Raising his guns, Crichton stood and ran down the hallway. He heard the battered figure before he saw it. A man in black, their peacekeeper, was laying on the ground in a tattered state. His clothes were ripped and burnt beyond repair. His face seemed to be missing parts of it. “You son of a bitch! You shot him!” Fury ran through the shaking human. He raised his guns. “Wait, please. I didn’t, I don’t..” That’s when John noticed that something was moving in the spots where the man’s flesh had been torn away. “What the hell are you?” Before the man could answer, Chiana came bursting out of the fog.

“What the frell did you do?” She stared accusingly at Crichton. Sheepishly, he lowered his guns and replaced them in their holsters. “Why? Who is this?” The Nebari brushed his questions off and struggled to look farther down the hall. “Where’s D’Argo?” Crichton stiffened. Chiana shot him another angry glare and ran off after the Luxan. John looked down at the figure on the floor. The man frowned. “I can explain.”

<<<<>>>>

‘How the frell does Nerri deal with this? On a daily basis? I have to worry about this enough on Moya. No more examples necessary.

Oh frell, there he is. This can’t be happening. Not now. I was almost frelling ready. He seems so damn fragile like this. The clear ooze flowing out of the wound in his leg. I can almost forget that he’s also a big warrior.

The Qualta blade is laying at my feet. It’s heavy but not so much that I can’t carry it. The weight feels good in my hands now. Something concrete to hold on to. Everything seems to be spinning so fast. Guess little miss danger isn’t so tough after all. Or am I getting soft around these people? Around D’Argo?

It broke my heart to hear what he said on that recorder. Asking me to marry him, grow some stupid fruit. Did he actually think I’d go for that? I knew right then what was going to happen. I couldn’t have predicted what came after. Didn’t realize how much I would miss his embrace. Now he’s hurt and I suddenly feel like the concerned housewife.

If it wasn’t for that frelling kid and his message. I felt so determined for a moment there. Chiana the hero. Finally being able to make Nerri proud. Just a couple of solar days into this and my lov-, D’Argo, is already hurt. I couldn’t take watching him die. Never could. Even if I wouldn’t admit it. Still, there are other things to consider.’

“D’Argo? Answer me please!” Chiana couldn’t believe the hysteria she was hearing in her own voice. This wasn’t who she was. Who she had been. “I’ll do whatever you want. Raise prowsa fruit, adopt kids, whatever. Just wake the frell up!” The Luxan opened his eyes slowly and looked up at her. There was something there she hadn’t noticed before. “Did you say something? I couldn’t hear.” The Nebari shook her head. “Just making sure you’re ok. That’s all.” D’Argo managed a thin smile and started to stand himself up.

The two of them stood there for a moment in silence. D’Argo was finding it difficult to stand on his bad leg. “I’ll get you back to Moya. Zhaan will fix that.” Her arm was around his body. Supporting him with all her weight. “I can make it fine alone. Why don’t you go help Crichton?” Chiana shook her head. “I want to stay with you.”

<<<<>>>>

“What if?” Rygel ran his pudgy green fingers over the brown control panel and smiled. Whatever this machine was, it could aid him in his quest. He hadn’t noticed it before. Never even made the connection when Crichton went back to Earth. This little ship could take him home. Pleased with himself, the midget royal imagined floating into Hynerion space on a wave of wormholes. What a grand entrance that would be! His people cheering and applauding his return to power. “Yes! That’s what I’ll do.” A low beeping noise started behind him. “Stop that infernal racket would you?” It wasn’t meant to be a question. The ship defied his authority.

“You are not a cleared user. Please exit the ship immediately.” Rygel stared at the computer screen in disbelief. A box filled with wires and other such yotz was telling him no. “I demand you bring Hyneria on the screen. Show me the coordinates!” There was no response. He slammed his tiny fist on the keyboard. Still nothing. “Dominar, may I have a word?” It wasn’t the same voice. “What the frell do you want Pilot? How did you get through?” Pilot’s image appeared on the screen. He was frowning.

“There is a transmission being emitted from the ship you’re in. I managed to divert some of its energy.” Rygel ignored Pilot’s technical speak. He had no actual interest in how it was done. “Waste of time. Why don’t you leave me alone?” Pilot shook his head. “Forgive me Rygel, but this is urgent. If the Regulators were to find me out....” The creature’s frown seemed to grow darker. If that was possible. “Have you seen Tom? The DRD’s haven’t been able to find him. My scanners, as you know, are jammed.” Rygel groaned and floated out of the ship. “No, I have not seen the other human. He’s probably gone down to the planet or something.”

Something stirred behind him. Rygel was about to ask Pilot about it when he realized that the voice had gone away. “Pilot?” There was no answer. The door to the ship slammed shut. Rygel covered his eyes. “Someone help me! It’s alive!” He watched in fear as the vessel rose off the ground and headed towards the outer hangar doors.

<<<<>>>>

‘What have I become? What have we all become? I was once sure of my role in the universe. To be a priestess was what I lived for. Achieving a level of spirituality that most only dreamed of. That did not end well. Holy woman to demon creature in a single moment. I felt the darkness festering in me then as I do now. If only there was not so much occasion to call upon it. Now I find myself mother to a group of misfits and wanderers. Searching the stars for their own destinies. Have I become a simple observer? Doomed to watch others succeed while I remain still?

I thought Kahaynu had given me a new lease on life. Protect Moya. Give her the guidance to remain true to herself. I’ve tried to do that. Honestly, I have. But things don’t always turn out the way you hope they do. This ship has seen its share of evil. Some of that is my fault. Leading her into danger. Burning her. What has she become? A carrier of lost souls. Now a weapon of destruction. How could I ask that of her? Pilot claims she agrees. I find myself disappointed in her. Can’t Moya succeed where I have failed? Stay true to her calling? I’m not sure.

What if it comes to that? We leave this planet and go searching for trouble. Finding it won’t be a problem. Not for us. Not ever. Moya and Pilot claim to be ready. They’re prepared to do what’s necessary. Noble, that it is. But what about the cost? I don’t want Moya to lose her innocence. I can’t even remember what that feels like. Maybe she won’t have to make that choice. Maybe this will all work itself out.

It won’t.’

Zhaan pushed herself down another empty hallway in quiet fury. This was not the way to find Tom. He could be anywhere on the ship or the planet. This was a waste of time. “Zhaan, this is a waste of time. Come back to the den.” She ignored Pilot’s voice and pressed on. Perhaps he would be around the next corner. Smiling sheepishly at his cruel joke. Lying in a pool of warm blood. “Frell Woman! Get a hold of yourself.” Zhaan touched her forehead to the wall’s cool exterior. She could feel the anger burning inside. The darkness. “Zhaan! That frelling ship’s come to life. It tried to kill me!” Rygel was coming straight towards her.

“What are you talking about Rygel? What ship?” Calm settled over the Delvian once again. She was in control. “I was standing beside it. Minding my own business when the thing came to life. Swerved at me and everything.” His voice was labored. Words burst in between the hiccups. “Which ship?” Rygel fought to control his breath. “The regulator one! You stupid woman. What other ship would I be talking about?” Zhaan ignored his rude comments and started down the hall again. One more thing to worry about.

<<<<>>>>

The two of them stared at each other for several minutes without talking. John had managed to put his guns away after Chiana left. The man in black didn’t appear to pose a threat. That’s what worried him. Of course, a man with holes in his face would worry anyone. “I bet I can guess what you’re first question’s going to be.” The man propped himself up and groaned. John didn’t answer him. “My name is Borell. I’m a regulator.” That got John’s attention.

“Then I should be holding a gun on you after all.” Crichton reached for his twin pulse pistols. Something stopped him though. This man wasn’t anything like the Regulators he had seen before. No freaky brown machine. “You care to elaborate?” Borell welcomed the invitation. He pointed up at the dark shadows above. “Someone’s got to watch the watchers right? I’m the one who’s supposed to keep things in line.” John couldn’t help the grin that spread across his lips. “Well, you haven’t been doing a very good job.” Borell nodded. “It’s a big universe.”

They were both standing there quietly when Chiana came limping out of the fog. She was supporting a bleeding Luxan with a very bad temper. “I can stand on my own. Don’t frelling baby me!” The Nebari was not amused. “Fine, carry yourself.” She let him go and watched with satisfaction as he stumbled towards the ground. “You ok Crichton?” Chiana looked up at the other odd pair as she spoke. John nodded. “Things may be looking-.” A loud rumbling cut him off in mid-sentence. Something was coming from Moya’s direction. They could just barely see it through the fog. It was brown.

<<<<>>>>

The white fog turned to darkness in an instant. She had just stepped over where Kahaynu had been. He wasn’t there anymore. Then the ground gave way and Aeryn was lying in a cavern. “What is this?” Aeryn stood up and looked around. The room was empty and very, very cold. Water droplets fell from the jagged ceiling above. “Kahaynu? Where am I?” The deity didn’t answer. She was talking to the wall. Something scurried into the room from the other side. A small creature that she could barely make out. “Who’s there? I have a weapon.”

The monk was dressed in brown cloak and matching shoes. His face never fully appeared but she could see his eyes through the darkness. They were cloudy like the air outside. “Who are you? Where are the others?” Aeryn could only think of questions at this point. Her head was still spinning from the fall. If it was a fall. “I’m not going to hurt you.” It was the voice of a boy. The Sebacean relaxed only slightly. “Have you come looking for the woman?” The boy took a step forward and appeared in her field of vision. He was holding a jacket. Rachel’s jacket.

“What the frell did you do to her?!” Aeryn had her knife pressed forward in seconds. The boy took a step back but did not appear to be very alarmed. His voice remained smooth and calm. “I gave her what she wanted. The woman is no longer here.” Aeryn dropped to her knees. The knife fell beside her. Nothing made sense anymore. “What is that supposed to mean?” The boy smiled reassuringly. “She instructed me to tell your crew something.” Aeryn blinked several times and waited for the news. He pointed towards a table at the far end of the room. Meryl’s body was lying on it. “Take her with you.”

<<<<>>>>

‘The other day I wondered what it would be like to have a single thought to myself. The funny thing is that even that thought wasn’t my own. I felt Moya’s response all over my body. She felt rejected. I spent eight arns trying to calm her down. It’s impossible for me to forget she’s there. But the mind can play tricks on you. Even if two are sharing it. Moya is hearing this now. The leviathan disapproves of my militant behavior. She’s reminding me of all the reasons I joined in the first place. She’s right.

We can both feel it now. The foreign yet familiar sense of belonging. Of something beckoning us closer. She’s not as eager to please this time. The most revered Deity threatened to extinguish her life on their previous encounter. Moya had not struggled. She knew her place. But Talyn never left her/our mind. Her child was somewhere out there. She wouldn’t get to see it grow up. No mother wants that. Human, Luxan, living ship. It doesn’t matter. Now we are faced with similar circumstances. The builders are telling us to succumb. To leave our troublesome crew behind and take shelter with them. Moya doesn’t agree. Neither do I.

Zhaan is worried about us now. In some ways, her protectiveness mirrors that of the builders. Moya and I believe she will know when to let go. We are not looking forward to that day. Something unprecedented has happened in the history of leviathans. As far as Moya knows anyway. We have been given a chance to do something epic. Not just the life of a servant ship. We can make an impact. It is possible that legends could be written about us. Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. Her nervous excitement fills me too. But the fog has already penetrated our skin. If we don’t break away soon, it will be too late.

It’s time to make a choice. Destiny or Deity?’

Pilot felt his arms begin to limp over the controls in front of him. All of Moya’s senses were dead. If not for Rygel, they would never have known about the Regulator ship. It was out now. Somewhere in the white atmosphere outside. “I can feel it too.” His words did nothing to comfort her. The giant leviathan was still struggling with her decision. They had already argued about it for arns. This couldn’t be taken lightly. A mistake could mean death. “Are you sure?” Pilot blinked several times. “Oh dear.”

<<<<>>>>

“Listen to me. You have to get back to Moya before that ship passes the cloud barrier.” Borell reached for a small device on his belt. He pressed a button and then started for the exit. John grabbed his arm. “What happens when it passes the cloud barrier?” The man in black ignored his question and pulled free. “I’ll tell you the rest later. Just go.” Without another word, he disappeared into the fog. Chiana and D’Argo stepped up beside Crichton. The Nebari put an arm on his shoulder. “You heard him John. I don’t feel like sticking around anyway.”

Footsteps came up from behind them. A large figure was running towards them. “There you are! I’m going to have a frelling heart seizure.” Aeryn stopped short of them and gasped before speaking again. The other three stared silently at the grisly form she presented. “What?” Meryl’s limp body hung over her right shoulder. Blood was trickling onto Aeryn’s strained face. She seemed not to notice. John moved to help her. “How did you manage-?” She waved the question off. “Just get me back to Moya.”

<<<<>>>>

Pilot looked up as Zhaan and her Hynerion companion walked into the den. Beads of sweat poured down his scaly body. The physical exertion was burning him inside. “Pilot, what’s wrong?” Zhaan ran up to him and put a hand to his forehead. “Moya and I are attempting to break free of the planet’s hold. It’s been very difficult.” The entire ship lurched as he said the words. Behind them, Rygel smashed his throne into the console’s front. “What the frell are you trying to do Pilot? Kill me?” The creature chose to ignore him. A loud crackling sound burst from the comm channel. “It’s working!”

Chiana pressed her gloved hand against Moya’s metal skin and smiled. It felt good to be home again. “Hey! Hurry up guys. You heard what the man said.” Behind her, John and the others gave only threatening glances. He and Aeryn were struggling with Meryl’s body while D’Argo limped along beside them. “Just lead the way pip.” Chiana was about to reply when her comm went off. “Chiana! Can you hear me? Answer!” Pilot’s voice was coming through. Distorted but through. “Yeah Pilot. You’ve got to take off!” They were thrown to the ground as another tremor rocked Moya.

<<<<>>>>

They stood side by side watching the leviathan depart from the planet’s surface. One was noticeably more upset than the other. Kahaynu closed his eyes and felt the anger pass through him. Not only was his creation abandoning her principles, Moya had openly disobeyed him. “You were told to stop that ship.” He turned towards his weary companion. Borell gave a wry smile and shrugged. He watched the same scene with a small sense of excitement. Everything was changing around them. This ancient world’s ways were beginning to lose their hold. A big problem was going to be resolved soon. “You’ve got bigger problems to worry about now.”

Kahaynu knew what he was talking about. The Regulator ship had escaped from Moya and made it into the atmosphere. The cloud cover was of no use now. “They can hit us anytime you know. We have no defense.” He took a moment to imagine his world in flames. His legacy destroyed. Borell shook his head. “They’ll go after the leviathan for now. You needn’t worry so much.” With those parting words, the man in black walked into the fog and disappeared. He wasn’t really a man. But that’s the least important of things. “Frell you.” Kahaynu spoke the words for the first time as he watched Moya starburst roughly away. “She’s gone.”

<<<<>>>>

‘You feel empty inside. Nothing really matters except finding a way to fill that void. It doesn’t matter what. Revenge? Love? Take your pick. I don’t really have a preference anymore. Everything I ever cared about is gone. My family, extinguished along with the rest of my people. Kezia, dead because I couldn’t protect him. Of course, he wouldn’t see it that way. The frelling Scarren would take the blame himself and scold me for thinking otherwise. I didn’t expect that from him. I was blind.

That night we met, he and John looked so committed. Frightened, but committed. There was something in their eyes. A longing for something they couldn’t have. I first thought it was revenge. Getting back at the person who made their lives miserable. But there was more to it than that. John Crichton isn’t the type. He’s too clean for me. Listen to me, Crichton’s killed just as many if not more people than I have and I’m the tainted one. Then again, I did help blow up the Artanis. That’s pretty bad isn’t it?

Kezia intrigued me. I saw something different behind that ugly Scarren mug and the tough skin. Maybe it was the pathetic way his eyes looked for approval. He had been so proud and lost so much. There was no self-confidence in him anymore. Kezia lived to get that back. To be equal among his own kind. He picked the wrong travel companions. Now I’m here alone. The Regulators have taken away any last shreds of life in me. I’m a shell. Empty, waiting to be filled again. This boy may have the answer. He looks promising.

I see Tom standing in front of me now. I couldn’t care less about his particular situation. So he’s lost a loved one. I’ve lost plenty of them. It gets easier with each passing one. But maybe that’s what attracts me to him. The destroyed look in his eyes. He’s fighting to find new meaning in his life. Maybe he could be mine. If I help him find something, will it give me the same gratification? No, I don’t think so.

But I’ll do it anyway.’

Zelaya sped up her walking and passed by the sulking human. He had barely said a word to her on the way down here. She didn’t mind at all. His eyes explained everything to her. She knew what had to be done. What Tom needed at this moment. “I’m coming with you.” The Ferrian was surprised. She hadn’t expected him to speak first. Perhaps there was some progress already. “You can’t come with me. They’ll kill you.”

The hangar was empty except for the two of them. Moya had stopped shaking a few moments ago. Apparently, they had come out of starburst. There weren’t any white clouds here. Just the infinite blackness of space. The ship sat quietly in the center of the room. It’s companion had disappeared. Zelaya had felt it go. Knew what she was going to have to do. “This is my ship. I mean, it’s the one that Bob gave me.” She hadn’t thought about the Nyid in a very long time. “If you’re going to go, you have to take me with you.”

Zelaya turned to face Tom directly. The choice he’d just made was the wrong one. He would probably end up dead. “Alright, let’s go then.” The human gave her an odd look. He hadn’t expected her to agree so quickly. That was disconcerting by itself. “You’re not going to say goodbye to the others? They’ll wonder where you are. Think maybe you’re lying dead at the bottom of Pilot’s den.” She flashed her toothy smile. Tom shrugged. “I’ll send them a message from the road. Can’t go through all that now.” They stepped into the ship. It was out the hangar doors before Pilot had a chance to make contact. “Goodbye Moya.” Zelaya was never coming back.