Many, many thanks to xeyes, who saved these captions and provided them to me so I could add them to this site. Please note, I have extracted them from the original bulletin board pages they were on (TrekBBS) and got rid of the extraneous captions that had nothing to do with Donkey Kong. I did give full credit to the individuals who came up with each set of captions. There will be more pages (there was some 22 pages xeyes had saved in all) and I've only got eight pages of those extracted and added here at the moment. So enjoy the Donkey Kong chronicles!
And also thanks to xeyes, who provided these to me, here's galleywest's avatars, which were the real start of the Donkey Kong craze:
startraveller776
"Captain Archer, you are disqualified from competing in the Donkey Kong tournament for using Surak's katra to cheat."
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Trippy
Him! It was he who lost the high scores on Enterprise
Archer: No...er...it wasn't me...it was Tucker...ya... Tucker!
Trip (on Enterprise ): I heard that!
And so it continues... :p
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xeyes
Syran: Witness, T'Pol: the first extra-Terran Donkey Kong machine ever installed.
T'Pol: Thank Surak we have much longer lives than humans. It's going to take me ages to get that high score back.
Archer and T'Pol discover just how badly in need of shore leave the crew is.
Archer: T'Pol, I'm impressed.
T'Pol: As am I, Captain.
Archer: I didn't know that Hoshi could jump that high. Or that Trip could produce that many barrels in such a short time...
T'Pol: Or that Lieutenant Reed could make such a convincing gorilla.
Archer: I think they still feel bad about screwing up your game.
T'Pol: In strict confidence, Captain, watching this is far more entertaining.
Archer: I won't tell a soul.
T'Pol: Thank you. Popcorn?
Archer: You think of everything.
T'Pol: As humans would say, that's my job.
Phlox: Subcommander, I wish you'd told me about this earlier.
T'Pol: Doctor, I thought it appropriate to try other options before bothering you with such a mundane problem.
Phlox: This is hardly a "mundane problem." We don't take this sort of thing lightly on Denobula.
T'Pol: At any rate, Doctor, it is gratifying to know that you may be able to assist.
Phlox: Don't worry, Subcommander, I'll fix this right up. To be fair, you would have had no reason to know that Denobulans have the best Donkey Kong skills in the known galaxy. I should be able to get you back to Level 27 in a short time.
T'Pol: Thank you, Doctor.
Archer: But Emory, aren't you interested in finding your son?
Erickson In a bit, Jonathan, in a bit. I'm almost up to level 25. T'Pol's challenged me to a tournament.
Archer: Really? This should be fun to watch.
Erickson: If I can get back up to speed. Haven't played competitively in decades.
Archer: Well, here's a hint...just don't let Trip anywhere near your PADD.
Erickson: Like I was going to anyway.
Trip: (off-screen) I heard that!
With beyond-massive apologies to galleywest and Thena, of course. ;)
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xeyes
Being unable to leave a good thing alone… ;)
T'Pol: As you are already present, let me help...Ensign? What are you doing?
Travis: Um...nothing, Subcommander.
T'Pol: This is hardly nothing. Unless I am mistaken, you have achieved level 30.
Travis: Ummm...*sigh* Yes, ma'am.
Archer: You're playing Donkey Kong on the bridge?
Travis: Yes, sir.
T'Pol: And he is quite accomplished, Captain.
Travis: (smiling at T'Pol) Thanks, Subcommander. Phlox gave me some tips.
T'Pol: You may join the tournament next Wednesday if you like.
Travis: Thanks! Uh...if the Captain doesn't bust me for playing on duty.
Archer: Bust you? It's not like you have much else to do. I'm just mad I didn't think of it myself. (hits comm) Archer to Engineering.
Trip: (over comm) Tucker here. What's up, Cap'n?
Archer: Trip, remember that screen that you wanted to install on my chair back when we were all OCD'ing? I want it installed ASAP. And the cupholder, too.
T'Pol: Captain, do not allow Commander Tucker to interfere with the screen after installation if you would like to preserve your high scores.
Trip: (over comm) I heard that!
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galleywest
Soong: No, no, no! Don't wait until the last barrel almost hits you, then jump! You have to jump a split second before that!
Travis (doubtful): That's not what the Andorians said to do...
Soong: Did the Andorians create a genetically-engineered barrel-jumping gorilla to test their Donkey Kong theories?? I don't think so!
Archer: Let the man work, Travis. With his help we'll win that tournament for sure.
Travis: I dunno...I still think breaking him out of prison to give us pointers was a bad idea...
Archer: Well, I didn't ask you ensign...and may I remind you again, you tell T'Pol about this and you'll never speak on this bridge again!
Travis: It's Commander Tucker you should worry about me telling.
*everyone pauses......................*
Tucker (muffled, from engineering): I heard that!
Travis: How does he--?
Archer: Best not to ask, ensign.
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Tim M.
T'Pol: You have defected from the NX-01 Donkey Kong League and have started playing Super Mario Brothers...it is not logical.
Trip: The needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.
Kirk (offscreen): You tell 'er. Now teach me some Frogger.
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xeyes
T'Pol: I know it. I just know it...Commander Tucker is attempting to improve my scores again. I must admit, this bond can be very useful sometimes.
T'Pol: (walks up quietly) Commander?
Trip: (nearly leaps out of chair in surprise) KONG! Uh...T'Pol. You startled me.
T'Pol: My apologies. Although I would have expected that you would have anticipated my arrival.
Trip: Hey, you're right. Guess I'm not really good at this bond stuff yet.
T'Pol: Indeed. (looks at Trip's screen, raises eyebrow)
Trip: (sheepishly) I...uh...
T'Pol: Commander...
Trip: Darlin', I was just tryin' to help...
T'Pol: Thank you, Trip. But, given the results of the previous attempt...
Trip: No, this is better. I'm implementing an auto-save.
T'Pol: Are you quite certain that it will work?
Trip: (beams) Positive.
Some time later...
Archer: (enters Sickbay) Trip...
Trip: Cap'n, I'm sorry...
Archer: Trip, I thought you knew better than this.
T'Pol: Captain, to his credit, the Commander was attempting to implement upgrades in advance of the next tournament.
Phlox: No worries, Captain. I'll be able to restore the ship's high scores in a few hours or so. Fortunately, Lieutenant Reed was able to provide recent records of the scores.
Archer: Lieutenant...how...
Malcolm: Yes, sir, the scores are not stored in the area of the computer banks that is routinely backed up. Fortunately, current surveillance video recorded the scores at the end of a crewmember's game.
Archer: Lieutenant, should I even bother to ask who was playing on duty?
Reed: If I were you, Sir, I wouldn't.
Archer: Ah. Never mind, then.
Phlox: Captain, would you mind passing that tube of gel by your elbow? My hands are cramping up again.
Archer: Here you go, Phlox. Thanks.
Phlox: Thank you, Captain.
Malcolm: (pointing at screen) Trip...look at those diagnostics. It might be possible to optimize the emulator to allow more participants in the tournaments...
Trip: (peers) Mal, I think you're right. We can allocate more juice to the program, especially if we run it mainly during second and third shift...
T'Pol: Captain...
Archer: Gentlemen...
Trip and Malcolm: Sorry, sir.
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Jedikatie
Trip: T'Pol, I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do.
T'Pol: You mean?
Trip: Yes. I'm afraid the Pacman game went crazy and it ate up all the high scores from the Donkey Kong tournament.