Author: Shipscat

E-mail: lapelpets@confabulation.com

Rating: PG. I think john says Hell once or twice.

Spoilers: takes place right after Fractures.

"How do things always go so horribly wrong?" John Crichton asked himself, as he dangled precariously from the side of the craggy cliff. He banged against the sharp rock painfully, holding on by one good hold- the other hand was clutching the wall with just the fingertips and the fossilized barnacle on which his foot had been standing had broken off, plunging down below him, landing on the shell -shaped head of one of the hundreds of angry crustaceans that were making good progress in bringing down the cliff itself, digging and scooping and cutting with their sharp claws.

An answer came from a few feet below him. "This is all your fault, Crichton!' Aeryn snarled from a similar position on the cliff face. She attempted to throw her head back to glare at him, but she started sliding and had to flatten herself against the wall.

One thing John was sure of- this had not been his plan and this time, at least, it was not his fault.

He knew exactly when he had lost the argument.

"If you don't want to do it, Crichton," Aeryn said firmly, "then Crais and I will go by ourselves." She lifted her chin a little, daring him to say anything. There they stood, side by side, both looking like the Peacekeepers they used to be, united in purpose. It gave him a little pang to suspect that maybe she would prefer it if he didn't go with them.

"It's not a bad idea, Aeryn," he said. And it wasn't. They wanted to go to Pilot's home world and find a Pilot for Talyn. Not a bad idea, but something that John thought could wait. Could wait until after they found Scorpius, after they stopped his worm hole research. Who knew what kind of progress he had made in the months since he had removed the chip from John's head?

He had gradually come to realize in the discussion, that Crais and Aeryn, who both knew Talyn better than he did, thought that he was too volatile- too emotionally unstable to take into battle with Scorpius. Not that either one had made it easier for him by saying so directly. Protecting their child. And Pilots were very leveling influences. It had to be better for Talyn than Crais.

Who was he kidding? There wasn't a snowball's chance in Hell that he was going to let Aeryn go off again without him.

"It won't take long, John," Aeryn said, throwing him a bone. "When I went to Pilot's world before , the entire trip took fifteen solar days, and we are closer to it than that. Pilot says it should take less than a weeken."

That would be reassuring, except for Aeryn casually mentioning that she had been to Pilot's home world before, with all that story entailed, and in front of Crais, who also did not flinch. It made him wonder how far back into Peacekeeper mode she had gone. And how far away from him.

Pilot's planet of origin was more than three-fourths water, it turned out. Earth had a lot of water, but this planet had no green to go with the blue- the land masses were gray. A gray and blue planet with swirling clouds.

"It does not receive enough energy from the sun to sustain vegetation," Pilot said. "The only life exists in the oceans and on the shores."

"So, the world is heated by geothermal energy?" John guessed, looking at it curiously.

"Yes," Pilot agreed. "The magma core heats the oceans and provides the energy for life."

"It must be geologically unstable then, ' John said, looking at the image of Pilot in the clam shell.

"Yes," he admitted, "but it is home. I wish I could go with you."

"I know you do, Pilot," John said sympathetically.

"Well," he said to the room at large," who else wants to be in the landing party? How about you, Rygel? You're an aquatic kind of guy, aren't you?"

Rygel drew his throne chair up and folded his hands across his chest. "While I consider Pilot one of my dearest friends," he said," On my world, there are species very much like him that eat species exactly like me. I fear I must decline."

"So Rygel doesn't want to be a Red Shirt today. Anyone else?"

"I don't swim."

John turned around and stared at D'argo. "You survive vacuum. You should be able to stay underwater for a long time."

"I can. It's getting back over the water that's the problem. Luxans are too dense. We don't float."

John let the dense comment pass.

Jool glanced over at D'argo. "I think my eye still needs to recover, but I'll prepare you a first aid kit."

Chiana snorted. "I will definitely go with you," she said huffily.

"It's not the most exciting world by your definition."

"It has to be better than sticking around here." there was an unspoken 'watching those two make eyes at each other' John thought.

They took a considerable amount of gear, making sure they had food and water and some Peacekeeper-issue personal size army tents. They had to land some distance away from the Pilot city, being told that there were no places stable enough to land the transport pod. They were given directions, and a boat with no Pilot. A warmer welcome than they got on most worlds, John had to admit.

The boat was not very impressive, having a couple of oars and a long pole and no motor. It also appeared to be made of a very tightly woven grass in several layers- John had no idea how it could possibly stay afloat. Chiana took one look and announced her intentions of staying with the transport pod.

"I don't like getting wet," she said, doing a good imitation of a cat's moue of disgust.

"Well, Chiana, I did tell you-"

"It's okay. Someone should stay with the pod, don't you think?"

John, Aeryn and Crais loaded the boat with their supplies. Surprisingly, the craft appeared to be able to handle the weight of their supplies and themselves easily. They pushed off and were on their way without much delay, Crais and Aeryn starting out at the oars and John trying to read the map Pilot had prepared for them.

"It's only supposed to be a few arns. Less than a days journey," John said. " have you- uh, been this way before, Aeryn?"

"I stayed with the transport," Aeryn said quietly, concentrating on rowing. Crais said nothing. Eventually he took his jacket off. The air was thick and it was warm, not too hot for humans but Crais was covered with sweat.

"Are you two okay?" John asked. "Is it too hot?"

They both shook their heads. This was going to be a fun trip, John thought. Maybe it wasn't the air that was thick, just the tension. It occurred to him for the first time that besides Aeryn acting like a zombie she and Crais weren't making eye contact and didn't seem to have two words to say to each other. He'd have given his eye teeth to find out what had happened between them. He was getting tired of feeling so completely out of the loop.

It was after they had crossed the large body of water and were getting into an area that was starting to have a little vegetation growing out of the water, something that looked like rushes, that an enormous head rose out of the water and stared at them, not a foot away from their boat. It was covered with iridescent scales and looked at them benignly. It was not a total surprise to John- he had been watching some disturbances in the water for some time. It was a total surprise to Aeryn. She immediately rose up and smote it in between the eyes with her oar. The sea monster yelped and turned its head away, looking hurt rather than injured. Then she turned on John, "You want to shoot at that thing or were you waiting for something bigger to come along?"

"I don't think it was dangerous, Aeryn, and you-"

"You'd think it was dangerous after it bit your head off."

"Aeryn, you left-"

"Listen to me. I-"

Too late. The oar that Aeryn had left on the edge of the boat slid over into the water and, much to John's astonishment, sank. In a flash he took his vest off and dove in. It took some time searching to find it- the water was murky and he finally located it by feel. His lungs were burning by the time he came back up to look directly into Aeryn's worried eyes. She was standing up in the boat and had one leg swung over the side.

John handed her the oar as if it were a peace offering. "You wouldn't think they'd make the oars out of something that wouldn't float,' he said, "Of course, the way this planet is, I guess we're lucky we aren't in a stone canoe."

"You were down there a long time." He thought he noticed a little quiver in her voice.

"You don't need to worry about me,' John said, lazily doing a backstroke. "I swim like a fish. Don't you?"

"Yes. No. I mean, not like that," Aeryn said, as John flipped over and swam back to the boat. "I wasn't worried."

John pulled himself over the side, landing rather ungracefully in a heap. He shook his head from side to side, flipping water on the other crew members and wishing he had a towel.

"Boy, that Douglas Adams was right. Aeryn, I'll teach you some time. I can show you how to save someone who's drowning. It will be helpful next time you fall off a cliff with someone."

Aeryn stared at him. He smiled cheerfully back at her.

"It's your turn to row," she said abruptly. That was fine with him. He had been planning to spell her anyway. Before he took his place at the side of the boat he found some rope in their equipment and tied the oars to the largest, heaviest bags, hoping that this meant that the oars would not be lost and not that he was going to be going after the bags as well.

"How about you, Bailar. You swim?"

"Just a bit. Peacekeeper training covers the basics."

"You just vorlag-paddle, huh?"

Aeryn dug out a really big gun- it looked like some kind of grenade launcher- and stood like a masthead, scanning the water from sea monsters.

"Don't shoot Nessie, Aeryn, it's kind of pretty."

This earned him a really big scowl. "You've named it already?"

"And you need to sit down-" he stopped himself before he said honey. "You can't stand up on a boat, you'll tip us over."

Aeryn sat, not looking at him, the gun across her lap. John didn't care. He was desperately trying not to let his exuberance show. She had been about to dive in after him. Even though it meant he would probably have had to pull her out of the water, he halfway wished he'd stayed down a little longer.

The reason for the long pole became apparent as the rushes became thicker. Crais put the oar down and started poling them through the water, pushing off of the bottom. The water seemed to be fairly shallow at this point. Despite his best efforts, their path was clogged by the increasingly thick plants. After comming Pilot to make sure that they were indeed still on course, Aeryn hopped over the front of the boat and grabbed the rope anchored to it.

"Are you sure you want to do that, Aeryn?" John asked, leaning over the prow.

"I don't have to swim in it, just walk," she said over her shoulder, and started pulling.

John went off over the back of the boat and pushed. Despite getting hung up on rocks a few times, they made it through the rushes fairly quickly and stopped to rest. When John grabbed Aeryn's hand to help her aboard she winced and he noticed that her hand was slick with blood.

"What the Hell is this, Aeryn?" he asked, furious.

"The grass is sharp,' she explained. She pulled up her vest and looked down at her stomach, leaving blood on the vest as she did so. She had dozens of what looked like little paper cuts across her abdomen. They were also on her arms and hands, giving John an image of her pushing the rushes away from her face with her hands. And not entirely successfully, there was one cut down the right side of her cheek. He hadn't been cut, but he had been behind the boat with the grasses closing in behind him.

"Why didn't you say something?" John growled.

"It's nothing," Aeryn said defensively. "We had to get the boat through."

Crais, who had been watching them without comment, handed John the medical kit. John pulled out a tube of ointment. "We need to take care of it."

"I can do it myself," Aeryn said, her voice high and a little panicked. She grabbed for the tube and knocked it out of John's hands, unable to maintain a grip on it. John picked it up from the bottom of the boat and said, trying to keep his voice calm and unemotional. "Would you rather Crais did it?"

She looked at Crais, whose face was unreadable, and back to John. Evidently having made a decision, she presented her hands, palm up, to him. before applying the unguent, he washed her cuts carefully with the water they had brought with them. The salve was wonderful stuff- not only was it an antibiotic but it sealed the small wounds like a second skin. It also adhered to the rag, so John had to put it on with his fingers. Aeryn turned her face away as he took care of her, careful not to make eye contact. She shivered when his hands moved across her belly. He paid special attention to the cut on her face, finishing with,"I don't think it will leave a mark."

He sat on his haunches, smiling at her gently. She raised her eyebrows at him. "I don't want you to kiss it and make it better," she said sharply.

That stung. He hadn't introduced her to the idea of kissing booboos, and she certainly hadn't learned it from the peacekeepers. "I hadn't offered," he said. A shadow of guilt passed over her face before she turned her back on him. When he realized that the object she was digging out of the pack was a black Peacekeeper bra, he turned his back, to see that Crais was doing the same. When he turned around again, she was wearing a long sleeved green top. Crais offered her some gloves, which she put on even though they were much too large for her. She sat on the bottom of the boat, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on them, clearly wanting to be left alone.

He and Crais manned the oars, talking desultorily and more or less ignoring Aeryn, although John would have been happier if she had still been gunning for sea monsters. Crais also puzzled him. He acted not only as if they were somehow friends, but as if they trusted one another. It was disconcerting.

It wasn't long before they came around a bend in the river, past some rocks and into a cove. On one side there was a long sweeping shoreline- on the other was the open sea.

"That's amazing," Crais said. The shore was covered with Pilots...John supposed they should be called something else, because they weren't attached to spaceships. They were crawling all over the sand, floating in the water, and looked incredibly busy. A few looked up as they approached, seeming unsurprised by their arrival. There were structures on the beach, some simple, some incredibly intricate, composed of sand and rocks and shells and something that looked like driftwood that John realized must be bone.

"Aeryn! Aeryn, you have to see this!"

Aeryn gave him a skeptical look and peered over the side of the boat reluctantly. Her pout changed immediately to a look of wonder. "It's beautiful...and strange."

John smiled at her. To hear her admit that something was new to her and see her eyes light up was very heartening- she'd been as emotionless as an automaton since she'd gotten back to Moya.

They docked on the beach and were met by an interpreter- someone who had evidently learned to speak slowly enough for the translator microbes. He led them down a path towards the back of the large beach area and towards a structure that looked like a castle, complete with a moat. They were moving excruciatingly slowly. The Pilots out of water had too much head and torso and too little in the way of legs to move quickly. John couldn't help comparing them to crabs on Earth, which could skitter along very quickly. It gave them plenty of time to look around, as they passed people's houses. Everyone seemed to be building, adding little pieces to their homes- some were digging pits, John had no idea what for. There were paths and walls and boundary divisions- fences fortified with rock and bone.

"Look!" Aeryn actually tugged on his arm and pointed.

John looked. He saw a Pilot holding a little proto-Pilot in the crook of one arm. It had little budding claws and a small dome-shaped head. The adult was feeding it bits of something that wiggled and John was very sure he didn't want to look at too closely. Its other arm was chopping seaweed and the other arm was pasting something to the side of the 'house.'

"Very cute," John agreed.

Their interpreter went through the moat to get to the building. Luckily there was a small drawbridge for them to cross on.

"This is our oldest building," the interpreter said proudly. "It's ten cycles old, and has yet to be destroyed by an earthquake or tidal wave."

Maybe cycles were a lot longer for them? John was puzzled. "What will you do if it is?" Aeryn asked.

"We will rebuild here," the Pilot said. "We like to be close to {untranslatable}, the observatory."

John couldn't pronounce the name, but his attention was drawn to a tall, rocky outcropping. From this angle he could see something that was vaguely recognizable as a telescope.

There wasn't much for John to do as Aeryn and Crais plead Talyn's case before the elders. They weren't given a definitive answer either, but told to come back in the morning. They were, however, allowed to meet with some prospective candidates.

Crais was immediately drawn to a small, enthusiastic female Pilot, who assured them that she had just finished her studies and been approved. She was fascinated with Crais's connection- it allowed her and Talyn to speak almost face to face. When their interpreter came back and offered to show them the observatory, Crais demurred and stayed with her.

A large basket, made out of the same tightly woven grass as their boat, was at the foot of the observatory. Their host got in- it was just the right size for a Pilot- and was drawn up by someone a few feet away pulling a rope that went through a pulley system. Once he got to the top, John and Aeryn stepped in . The view was incredible. They could see for miles and the Pilot city looked like nothing so much as crabs crawling around on sand castles. The air was thinner up here, and it was noticeably cooler. The thick atmosphere appeared to thin out quickly as you traveled above sea level. The observatory was also on a large flat area, which made John think.

"Could we spend the night here?" John asked. "This would be perfect for our camping gear and the cooler air is more suitable for us.'

"Yes,' their host said graciously. "I think that can be worked out. We'll bring your gear up. It will be dark soon. You'll be able to see the stars.'

Aeryn looked up from where she was peering through the telescope, which seemed to be made out of some kind of polished silica.

"Can't you just imagine Pilot standing here, looking at the stars?" she said.

"Yes, I can," he said, thinking that there was nothing more beautiful than she was at that moment, with her face shining and a breeze picking up a few stray strands of hair.

John was surprised that the night was actually darker than the day, the sun having provided so little light that a few stars had been visible in the daytime. Pilots' world had thousands of stars blazing down on it- not at all like the sky on Earth, in its lonely spot in the Milky Way. He started a campfire that the interpreter had reluctantly and fearfully agreed to let him have, and made dinner. Aeryn came to eat with him, Crais having not come back yet.

"They offered us plankton soup," John said. "Think we should have taken them up on it?"

"No, this is fine," Aeryn said, her mouth full.

"It's is a suitable landing spot. I think we should call Pip and let her pick us up here, and save ourselves the trip back."

"That's a very good idea,' she said. The gloves were off and John could see that she was healing already, much faster than he would have.

They ate in silence for a while, Aeryn looking contemplative. 'John," she started slowly, "out of all the Pilots down there, how do we know we'll get the right one? For Talyn, I mean. they'll be joined together for centuries."

"In a bond more intimate than marriage," John said. "I don't know. I guess we have to let Crais and Talyn decide- we're just the delivery people. I mean, what brings couples together- chance? fate?"

Aeryn looked at him, apparently unwilling to hazard a guess. "Is it harder for you- that I'm around?' she asked softly.

"Of course not. It is hard to see you hurting."

She was looking down at the ground. "It's hard for me," she admitted.

"I know," John said quietly, "it's okay." It wasn't really okay. But it had to be.

"But- we were friends. MY first and only friend. I would be a lot lonelier if you weren't here."

Well, for the dreaded friends speech, it wasn't too painful. "Me, too."

She gave him a tiny smile.

John reclined with his head on a backpack. "The stars here are beautiful. So much brighter than the stars on earth, it's no wonder they want to become Pilots. Look, I think I'll call that one Nessie, in honor of our friend. And that one can be George- I think our interpreter looks like a George-"

Aeryn made a strangled noise.

"Not George?"

He looked at her with alarm. Her eyes were tearing up. "I do NOT want to name stars with you," she said, and got to her feet, leaving him calling after her in the darkness.

John was still laying as he was, arms crossed under his head, brooding, when Crais came up.

"Where's Aeryn?"

"She's in her tent. Hiding. From me."

"Oh," Crais said, surprising him by not accusing him of having done something to hurt her. "Talyn likes the Pilot I was talking to. I think she might turn out to be quite suitable. I have high hopes that this will be the right thing for Talyn."

John sat up. "Would you like to tell me what happened on Talyn?"

Crais looked uncomfortable. "You already know-"

"That's not what I meant. You, Talyn, Aeryn. Everything's changed."

Crais sat down with a sigh. "I had to let go of some dreams," he said sadly. " I came to realize that I was not good for Talyn- and Aeryn made it clear that she would never be with me, whether you- he- were alive or dead."

"She broke your heart."

'No. I wanted something I couldn't have- I would have to say that I broke my heart."

This was an amazing admission for Crais. He could almost like the guy. "Well, I guess we have something in common."

"No, we don't,' he said enigmatically, and went to his tent.

The day dawned bright- well, not so bright, and clear. The sunrise was beautiful, with wild colors, and there was mist on the water. John was shocked to see that it looked like a horrible disaster had happened on the beach...all the homes were washed away all the way up to the oldest building. Then he saw stirrings...first one Pilot and then the other came out from under the sand, cheerfully going about their day, rebuilding their houses and looking to see what they had caught for breakfast in their traps. A society rebuilt every morning.

The news for them that morning was not so good- the Elders denied their request for a Pilot for Talyn, being sympathetic to their plight but unwilling to risk the anger of the Peacekeepers.

They walked down the hall in defeat, Crais trying to calm Talyn down, who didn't sound like he was taking it very well, when John was lifted off his feet from behind by a pair of large pincers. Aeryn and Crais came running into the side hallway, pistols drawn, to find John talking to the female Pilot Crais had spent so much time with.

"If you're going, I will go with you," she said urgently.

"You know you don't have to do this," Aeryn said. "there will be other leviathans. You will have another chance some day."

"I want to be Talyn's Pilot,' she said sincerely.

"Why the Hell not?" John said. "Why not help the star-crossed lovers? Let someone have a happy ending." He addressed the Pilot. "Are you ready to go now?"

Her turtle shell head bobbed up and down.

"Let's go. We'll just calmly walk up to the observatory and take off."

Aeryn commed Chiana to tell her that they needed the transport pod. "Aeryn, tell her to come when we call. We don't want the pod here too soon- it might make them suspicious."

The walk through the rebuilt village was agonizing, the three of them being forced to go at the Pilot's slower pace. They reached the base of the cliff unmolested, and put the Pilot and Crais in the basket. It took both of them to pull them up to the top.

"Okay, now you get in, and I'll pull you up," John said.

"No," Aeryn said. "Look, they're coming."

She was right. An army of Pilots was slowly crawling across the sand, and they didn't look happy. "Aeryn, this is no time to argue-"

"John," she said firmly, "You go up and I'll watch your back."

"Aeryn, we'll both go and they can pull us up from the top."

"Too slow." She shook her head, not looking at him but aiming for the nearest Pilot. John made a grab for her, intending to put her in the basket, but she swung at him. They both missed. A large pincer reached forward and cut the rope, just a few feet away from them. That settled the argument. They started climbing.

Despite the fact that Aeryn was good at climbing and that John was monitoring her progress, giving her a push on the butt at one point, he made greater progress and soon got ahead of her. The climbing got harder and he looked down realizing that the Pilots were tearing down their precious observatory. he couldn't believe it- they must have thought they kidnapped the female.

"This is all your fault , Crichton," Aeryn said, and slipped downward as a small rock slide caught her. He pulled himself quickly the last few feet to the rim and hauled himself over.

"Hold on, Aeryn," he called over the edge. He reappeared with a rope tied around his waist and the Pilot and Crais hanging on to the other end.

"No," Aeryn barked at him, "Don't do it. That's insane."

Arms forward, he slid over the edge of the cliff, letting himself hang freely in mid- air. To his complete and utter disbelief, not only was Aeryn protesting her rescue, she looked like she was trying to get away from him, letting go of her last good hand hold. He caught her by the wrist before she could plunge downwards, and locked his hand around it. She grabbed his wrist, then brought her other arm around to grab his, and they were hauled up, landing in a heap together at the top, where John looked up into Chiana's amused face.

"No one called," she said, "but I had a feeling you needed me."

"Our ride's here," John said.

Aeryn jumped up off of him. She was shaking with rage. "Don't you ever do that again! Don't you risk your life for me! Do it for the universe- do it for that trelk- do it for anyone else, but not for me!"

"What the Hell is wrong with you!" John shouted. "I saw that! You were going to let yourself fall- what are you trying to do, kill yourself so you can be with him? You've been acting macho enough to put Chuck Norris to shame!"

"I've been trying to keep you from doing another stupid thing to get yourself killed. So you can't make a dead hero out of yourself again. You think I don't realize that I was the only thing left on Dam-ba-da to save?"

"I think there was a little matter of trying to stop the Scarrens," John said, very confused.

"Oh, tell me you were thinking about that when you closed that box or when you went up in that ship with radiation poisoning," she said bitterly.

John was shocked. Aeryn had slipped right off the edge of reality and didn't even know it- she was still standing there with tears in her eyes. And maybe it wasn't so over the edge- she was right, he would have done the same, theoretically.

"Aeryn," he said gently. "I'm not the one who died on you. I didn't leave you... I had a chance too, to die, I mean. I was in a coma, and the only thing that kept me alive was you. The way I feel about you. It wasn't your fault."

"If it's my fault I could do better this time."

Whatever he was about to say to her was lost as the cliff they were standing on shuddered.

"We have to go, now!" Chiana said and they rushed for the transport pod. "What were you calling me a trelk for, anyway?"

Sometime later Aeryn was talking to Ms. Pilot, who was cheerfully learning Talyn's systems. The initial connections had been made and she and Talyn were getting to know each other. John lounged around the doorway until she looked up and noticed him. She smiled and excused herself and walked over to him. "Talyn is very happy," she said confidentially. She was looking a lot more relaxed. "It makes you happy to see him happy, doesn't it," he said.

"Mmhmm,' she said, inclining her head towards him, making a little circle of privacy between them. "I'm sorry. I blame you for being alive, I blame you for dying, I blame you for getting twinned- it's not fair. And I know it's not your fault that- any of this happened."

"I just want you to feel..better," he said softly.

"I know," she said. "I do. A little." He watched her walk down Talyn's corridor and smiled to himself. This time. She had said 'this time'.